[katesm]

Ahhh, Voddy, I still miss you sometimes, buddy.

We have a bit of history, eh?

Remember that special rock right down the back of my yard? Under the beautiful apricot tree? Yes? Oh, how many nights did we spend out there? Beautiful, balmy nights and that special rock, designed just for sitting out and contemplating my innermost thoughts with you, solving the problems of the world. Remember how I'd laugh hysterically at some incredibly witty thought and fall backwards off that rock? And that meant falling directly in to that scratchy, prickly plant that we never did learn the name of. Hell Voddy, I could count my times out there with you, by the amount of torn blouses I discarded. Or the number of livid scratches on my battered self, the ones I had a litany of excuses for, should anyone enquire.

I tell you Voddy, we could have written a book on the sheer ingenuity of my excuses. We could have titled it, 'Ways to believe you've thoroughly fooled people'. Or better still, 'Ways to fool yourself that people thoroughly believe you.' Whatever, eh? Oh, and remember how I used to ask you all the time, "Why doesn't God put backrests on rocks?" Such a simple thing.

The rock was fun, Voddy, but that was just 'you and me' time. It was harder when I had to share my time with others. Okay, now I have to admit, the lengths we went to, to make sure we were never too far apart, bordered on the ridiculous. But such was our connection. And okay, okay, the cringe factor when you suddenly turned up in the most unexpected of places, was hard to take at times. I still have no idea why you chose to wait for me in the laundry cupboard. I mean, it would have been a delightful surprise if it had been me that found you there. No such luck, eh? But seriously, I understood the reasoning. After all, it was only me who ever used the cupboard in the first place. What right do people have to change the rules? I know my haughty indignation shone through loud and clear.

Oh Voddy, the times we had. Remember how I'd travel from place to place? Just so we wouldn't be seen together too often? I was a married woman with three children, it was vital to keep up appearances. And hell, if we thought anyone was becoming too familiar, we rewarded them for their pleasantries and kindness, didn't we? Oh yeah, never went to visit them again! If their revenue went down, well hell, it was their fault. Had they never heard of discretion?

But you started to get a bit needy, Voddy. You wanted more and more of my time, my energy, my life. It became harder and harder to improvise. There were only so many places I could meet you, now that the laundry cupboard had been ruled out. It was all becoming.....too hard. You really swept me off my feet. No, I mean really! For some reason, after a special time with you, I would find myself in a semi-fugue state. Almost...but not 100% sure, of what we'd done, who we'd spoken to, or how I managed to wake up fully dressed, on the couch, with a lousy '1985 Bittersweet Memories' CD playing over and over. Spooky, Voddy, spooky!

Breaking up was hard, Voddy. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. (Well, aside from throwing out that beautiful Country Road blouse that I simply adored. That rotten rock!) No, seriously Voddy, I know I threw myself at you, not just flirting, but openly (and secretly) seducing you. But, you seduced me reciprocally. All's fair, Voddy. You almost sucked the life out of me. You left me withered and almost soulless. Almost.

I was lucky to scrape back the pieces of me before they were shattered and scattered forever. Without you, I'm whole again. I get angry at you Voddy, you took up a large portion of my life. Relationships are meant to move forward and it took a long time for me to realise that you didn't want to move forward, that your optimum direction was down. I'm glad I chose to move up.


I'm never really sure what connected us, but oh boy, was it a connection! I'm thinking of you today, not because I want to re-establish our relationship, but because I don't want to ever forget you. If I forget you, I may forget how debilitating our relationship was, how demeaning, how destructive.

And I warn you Voddy, and you should warn your friends, we have an army here. An army just itching for a fight.