[Sigh]

Some great responses. Neil I couldn't agree more, in a way I think giving up alcohol is easy, learning to live and enjoy being sober is the difficult part and why so many times we fail. Flip, everyone thinks the same thing that they are unique, doesn't that by definition mean they aren't unique? :P Sue you flatter, I'm an internet geek through and through, couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag but . It's just a topic that's close to all of our hearts here I think and it feels good for me to write about it.

I've been having continued trouble sleeping at night. One of my first reactions to giving up alcohol is I want some other sort of intoxication as already mentioned. Got me thinking, is this necessarily a bad thing? In fact, I think it isn't but alcoholism has stolen and bastardize the term intoxication..

Intoxication: Excitement and elation beyond the bounds of sobriety
Sobriety: Sobriety may refer to the state of demonstrating solemn or dignified personal behaviour...

Note: of course there are other definitions for both these terms, these are the ones I found that do not mention alcohol or narcotics.

Like, I love women. The emotional high of a new relationship, the anxiety of whether she likes me the way I like her, the goosebumps of seeing her and the longing when she's not around. The little messages and the uncontrollable feeling of joy/lust when we see each other again. And love making that drives her to the point of uncontrolled pleasure where she's ephoric, she's intoxicated.. I'm intoxicated.. it's intoxicating..

With golf, when I hit that perfect shot where everything went right, absolutely perfect, so very rare. Or I'm in that emotional state where everything is going right & I feel like I'm invincible. Spinning my club after a shot just because it feels good to do it. Walking with more of a spring in my step than normal. It's intoxicating.. I can't do wrong.. I'm bigger than life.. I'm someplace else..

With kids, one of my colleagues cannot stop talking about his sons yesterday. His youngest just turned 3 and the day before his father taught him to ride a bicycle. He was so proud of the accomplishment of riding a bicycle unaided at 2 years old. I can picture his beaming face seeing Valentine shooting off on his own. His son glowing both with his father's pride and riding a bike for the first time..I'm sure it was an intoxicating moment..

With alcohol, when I drink I feel numb.. My mind slows.. I forget my worries and anxieties.. I relax.. My mind doesn't chatter anymore and I can sleep soundly.. I'm protected from my problems.. However, I'm far from intoxicated..

When I was young, we drank tonnes and it often served as an introduction to intoxication. Doing absolutely crazy stuff, having a blast doing it, waking up feeling like shit and nursing ourselves back to health.. But drunkeness does not beget intoxication.. Intoxication is something mutually exclusive..

Gonna finish with a quote I absolutely love that I think is in line with this thread.

People don’t necessarily get what they want. People don’t
necessarily get what they need. Instead, people get what they
honestly and truly believe that they deserve. In other words, people
get what they expect to get.

The key to having what you want is not getting what you want, but
being the person for whom getting what you want is a mere byproduct
of the reality you create simply by the way you live life.
-David Shade