I have been meaning to update my topa situation. As I said, I started the rest of the program without it and when it arrived I had the stye in my eye. I wanted that to go away before I started. Like a lot of others, it scares me a lot. Having been a raging drinker for many years, I know well my patterns and behavior. I can feel a bender coming on like sometimes your knees know its going to rain. So now, instead of taking the topa regularly, I take it only when I feel the monster rearing its ugly head. Previously, that would have been about everyday at around 5:00. But with the hypno, supps and excersise, I am able to keep him much more caged and sedated. So I have only taken the topa 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I can almost instantly feel the craving disappear. For about an hour, it makes me feel strange in a way I can not describe. A little nauseous and fuzzy headed. But it has worked all three times. I am by no means reccomending that anyone else take it this way, but its working for me. It could be in my head but I do feel those physical effects also. I am 7 weeks into the program and have had 4 slip ups. Each one was major and taught me something. Each in a different way. I really believe in this program. I just feel like you need to use each element as the best tool you can. It is said time and time again, but you do get your life back. I am 41 and its kind of like having my "true" self for the first time. Being capable of not drinking is making me feel capable of so much more now. I have always been told that I have "so much potential" not in a "you are a big, huge, waste- case loser" way (though, that may be how it should have been) but in a "artistic talent" way. I am finally realizing that I am capable of realizing my potential and it feels freaking amazing. Thanks for letting me babble on.

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Ready2BDone