I have nearly always binge drank, apart from a time when I was unemployed and tried drinking every day for 3 months. I was brought up without AL in the house, started going out at weekends and would nearly always end up drunk, passing out, throwing up, having an emotional fit etc. When I was training as a competive athlete I would probably only go out once a week so it didn't seem to be a problem. Once I 'retired' I could then go out 2 or 3 nights and not care about the morning after.
In the last 3 years the pattern has been drink until I am sick of it - spend a couple of days recovering, get life back together then do it again. All on a weekly basis. In March I found myself a decent rehab and though I had it beat. Managed 8 weeks, slipped, then 1 month, June was just one big relapse.
Anyway - everytime I know it's not going to be a few drinks, I actually want to get blasted and drink so fast it can only be carried out at home. Recently I turned to Vodka, often neat from the bottle - I can drink a 750ml bottle in 2-3 hours. This week I had most of a 1 litre bottle Sunday night and 3/4 of a 750ml last night.
I tried modding a few years back but it was no good - every time I have a drink I can't get enough of the stuff. Trouble with abstaining is that I have to wait a few days until the next craving comes before I know if I can avoid it. Everyone around me just waits and wonders when the next explosion is coming!
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