First of all it doesn't sound pathetic it sounds like most of us. We are alcoholics we would never have found this place if we weren't. Try drinking water with the wine. One glass wine, one glass water. I was the best sneak in the world...I found stuff I hid months after I quit. It steals your self esteem. Let's face it. If it were something we felt ok doing we wouldn't have to hide it. You are not alone. We all have horror stories to share.
At my worst I actually drank vanilla extract just so I could stop shaking enough to go get more vodka. Am I proud of it? Nope but I try not to dwell on it or I will start drinking again as an excuse to get past the guilt and regret. You can do it. We all have it in us it's just easier at times to give in.
Good luck and welcome...you CAN be the bride you want to be.
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