Hi Margoms,
I forgot to welcome you properly - so Welcome! Moderating is much more difficult than quitting. Some new people come to this moderation thread because they just can't imagine themselves quitting. I get the impression that most who try to moderate are not successful, so there are way more people on this site who have quit or are trying to quit, convinced that moderation just doesn't work for them because they have tried and failed so many times.
On the plus side, I was amazed how quitting re-set my alcohol tolerance. My goal is to moderate at 3-4 glasses per week, and I have been pretty successful at that. I am now usually satisfied with just one glass of wine. There was one Sunday afternoon when I drank 3/4 bottle of wine, but most of us sooner or later have days when we are not successful at our goals of moderating or abstaining. It is very important to keep the big picture in mind so you don't get discouraged. I continue to worry A LOT about whether I will gradually increase my drinking. It is also important to examine your reasons for drinking, and get rid of at least some of them. Like, don't drink because you had a bad day (or a bad life!). Don't drink because you are tired.
Success in moderation also seems to depend a lot on how heavily you have been drinking. I was a binge drinker, and went many days without drinking before coming here. But on my binges I would drink a bottle or more of wine, or who knows how much vodka mixed with whatever was available, followed by feeling shitty the next day, memory lapses, etc. etc. stories often repeated here. I needed to break that weekly habit, and I did!
So good luck to you. Read the MWO book and make a plan for yourself. Stop making excuses. The most powerful tool for me has been reading and posting here.
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