[Margoms]

Me, I' m really not an obnoxious drunk. I don't get loud or belligerent or angry. I just get sloppy - eyes at half mast, maybe a little slurry and over expressive with the hand gestures. Probably nobody else gave it much thought. Still, it's not the image of myself that I like to project. I like to think of myself as an intelligent, together person. I did black out for the end of the evening. That was a particularly bad night in that I don't have blackouts very often. The AL hit me really hard and I actually felt it happen, almost like someone had injected the wine right into my vain and suddenly (well, after 4-5 glass), my brain was reeling, but it was too late. Once I'm really buzzed I just want to drink more, keep partying and have more "fun". I am also going through menopause now and it seems I'm less able to handle my AL. Perhaps hormones play a role. This is the age when my mom started loosing control too. No matter the reason, I'm ready to change.