I am so sorry for your horrible experience. It seems that you know the program and have some of the tools. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I am a newbie-Day 9. I just keep thinking about how horrible I felt physically and mentally and that seems to help. I do go to AA, but only because I am often alone and need sober friends. I am sure that some of the other members with more experience can help. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
