[mistersunshine]

I've dropped out of grad school several years ago. I've lost at least four relationships. I've changed jobs thrice over the past year. I've moved to the other side of the world (from New York to Asia). I don't know how many brain cells I've killed. I've started to develop serious gastritis, an ulcer, and also liver/pancreas pains.

When will this madness end? I was once able to quit, but that was under serious medical supervision (rehab).

Why am I being plagued with this? There are so many other diseases that, before they kill you, at least allow you have some quality of life. With alcohol, there really does not seem to be a point for living and going through each day.

I know how each night will end up. I dread the mornings.

How far can I run?