[SpiritGirl]

Hi,

As you will soon find out, there are so many of us that can relate to your situation and your desperate desire to change. I have a 14 yr daughter, a 13 yr old son and a 19 yr old step-daughter (whom, although I am divorced from her father, I am still raising and putting through college). My drinking was not always out of control. During and after my divorce is when it progessed. There were many factors that lead me to the comfort of "self-medicating" with alcohol - lonliness, new-founded freedom from a miserable relationship, boredom and the fact that I simply LOVE the taste of good wine. It makes me feel good - the taste, the "buzz". UNTIL NOW... It progressed from a social desire, to a comfort, to an obsession. It started to get in the way of so many important things to me - my appearance, my work ethic and most importantly my roll as a mother. I often times made promises to my children that I didn't remember or simply were too outrageous to follow through with. I acted completely inappropiately in front of them, often times embarassing them. I spent WAY too much time in bed with a hangover when I could have been "hanging" with my kids. Home cooked dinners became less and less. And my house was not kept up in a manner that a mother should. My problem progressed. And I am sorry to say that I believe yours will too if you are not able to make changes...

You are so blessed to have found this website. Because of the community here I just completed my 21st day of being alcohol free. When I first joined MWO my goal was to learn tools to "control" my drinking. I was not ready to accept the idea of not drinking anymore at all. And there are many people who come here and DO learn tools to moderate. I, however, am becoming ADDICTED to no hangovers. I am becoming addicted to cleaning my house, spending more time talking with my kids, grocery shopping, watering the flowers, laughing and smiling! My head doesn't hurt anymore... I enjoy my mornings with a cup of coffee and checking in here or reading a magazine. I am becoming more and more addicted to feeling GOOD on a daily basis.

This change has been an adjustment. Very tough at times. But it is SO worth it. The benefits are ten fold and I can look at myself in the mirror without self loathing. Although my original plan was to moderate, I am at a point that I don't want to take a chance of giving this new feeling up. And thanks to the people here that share their stories, I have learned through their mistakes! Which is why we are here - to find support when we need it and to give support when we have it.

Do not feel alone and afraid anymore. I have not been able to share any of this with anyone outside of MWO and I do not feel alone in my journey at all. And thanks to the advice and comraderie of the others here I have had 3 weeks completely free of the burden of alcohol. I wish for the same peace for you.....

Stick around and embrace all the support I know that you are going to find here...