Hi Struggles,
I'm sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Are you taking Kudzu? Have you considered antabuse, topa et all?
Alcohol is supposed to be a depressant, and I am having a bad day myself, but there is a lightness in me now that it has been 5 days not drinking....it was my comfort...anyways you sound depressed.
I'm sure someone who knows more than me will write, too, but don't give up on yourself, you sound like you are on your way and ready to do what you need to do.
Lila
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