Beth...I read your post, then pondered it for a bit. I am like you, and many more out there. I am tired of this battle and want more than anything for it to end. I, like you have always labeled myself a "functional" alcoholic. But now that I consider that, what exactly does that mean? Were not sloppy, homeless, falling down drunks, drinking out of a brown paper bag?
But are we really functioning? Or are we just scraping by? I am fortunate like you. I have a good job, a nice husband (who drinks unfortunately) by all standards I should be happy. But for some reason your post made me stand back and think about the label I have put on myself "functional" alcoholic.
I don't want to just function. I want to experience life, feel it, embrace it. I can't do that when I'm drinking or if not drinking, then I am hungover, barely able to function. I want more. And the only way I can get it is to muster everything I have to win this battle. I know it can be done, people do it here all the time. You can do it too.
What is it Beth wants? Why do you want to quit drinking? What problems has alcohol created for you? There must be a reason why you want to quit, if you feel like your functioning while drinking? For me, I know I can be so much more. I want to be so much more, not just muster thru the days in a fog, feeling physically and mentally like crap. I deserve more. And only I can give that to me. So I think you should give it some serious thought as to why you want to quit...and maybe that will give you some hope and insight as to the "how" to quit. I'm right there with you...I've been here about a year as well and am nowhere near where I want to be. But I WILL get there, and you can too...don't EVER give up.
Hugs...R2C
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