[cmhguy3]

Beth,

I can also so relate, great education, great job, life with all the trimmings...until I really "peer" and decide if I am functioning or not. As someone above pointed out, there has to be more or we would not be questioning our "functioning" or actions.

I have had several good stretches of being AF this year and I had recently fell back into my old pattern a few weeks ago, it is always the same, have one drink, then three, then two, then four and before I could pull back I was right back at it and binge drinking all last weekend.

I had a moment of clarity today when I woke up this morning on day two again of trying to be AL. When I start drinking again it is because the beast in my head tells me "you have quit before and if and when you have to, you can do it again!" I decided today that this had got to be the dumbest thinking I can have! And as I start the AF process again, it is starting to become apparent to me that staying sober has got to be better and easier then going thru this roller coaster of starting and stopping and the battle that we wage in our head about taking a drink.

DON'T GIVE UP!!! WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!