Hi Lucy/Beth.
I really liked Madge's post, very inspiring and true.
I think you tried Antabuse and it worked didn't it? But you took time off for vacations and such and then fell to the booze beast again?
I think it's good to ask why you want to quit.
But what does alcohol do for you that makes you come back for more? You say that you have the perfect life on the outside and have all the things people should want. And you are functional alcoholic, which is good too. So is there some negative part of you that says that this good person isn't the real you? That you are actually not all that? Is that why you drink? If so, the problem is unlikely to go away.
What are the good feelings alcohol gives you and that you crave?
What other ways can you get those feelings and how can you move past them?
Or do you think at this point it is a physical addiction?
Also, you said you are functional, does that mean that the problem isn't creating huge problems in your relationships?
I think if you are functional in your alcoholism, your relationships are intact, you have a lot going for you already. I am not saying this to be some sort of enabler. I am saying it because I think that having overly harsh requirements of ourselves is a direct cause of alcoholism.
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