[A Work in Progress]

Lucy/Beth, I am thinking about you this morning.... started to write a reply to you last night, but gave up, in part because I am new here and I don't know you. But part of what struck me about what you said is that you had done "everything" that you had been "told" to do... there is quite a bit of the passive voice there and I wonder if it reflects a real strong underlying resistance, an internal attitude of "I'll show them all that their advice won't work with ME... "

Forgive me if I am way off the mark, but I am a very stubborn and independent person and I am wondering if perhaps there is some of that in you, too?

I think it's fair to say that we all have ambivalence, mixed feelings, about stopping the alcohol. And that we are all great at rationalizing the drinking... It pretty much boils down to: How badly do you want to be free of the booze? If you want it really badly, you can recognize your rationalizing and ambivalence for what they are (an addicted brain throwing tantrums and engaging in seduction tactics).

And of course, if you really feel that you don't have the strength or hope or faith or consistent commitment to stay AF on a daily basis, there is always antabuse... What are your thoughts about that?

best wishes,

wip