Luna, In my opinion the best way to see what and where all the problems may be is to get alcohol free. And this is the place you can do it. Read RJ's intro and see about getting the book/supps/cds.
Drink lot of water with lemon.
Being AF will bring clarity, which is something that we are not used to and can be hard, but all of lifes problems are so much more manangable without it.
And when you are AF you can tell your wife "See it is not all my fault, and the problems are not all because of alcohol!"
Stick around and keep reading and posting.
AF 35 days, mwo2