[Loppy lugs]

Evening everyone.

Good to hear people had a good weekend.

I'm doing a lot better today so thought I'd post. I have been suffering from panic attacks for the last month or so which is really wearing on the spirit but I am absolutley determined to stay sober.

You would all have been proud of me last week. I was out to dinner with one of my friends who is nearly as big a drinker as I was. She felt uncomfortable the waiters knowing she was drinking the whole bottle of wine herself. So we didn't stop them pouring a glass which sat untouched in front of me until she had finished the rest of the bottle and then she drank that one too. I wasn't at all tempted because I felt in control. She was actually quite pleased that it was a quiet night, since I wasn't drinking she didn't hit the port.

I never actually want a drink but I often want to be drunk. Particularly after a panic attack when I just want to feel nothing at all. But I know that feelings are just an ordinary part of living and if I just keep at it life will get easier.

Am also currently working my way through the AA book 'Living Sober' full of good ideas even if you are not a fan of AA. I'll take any help I can get.

I'm off to bed now. Hope everyone has a brilliant day.

Keep well