I am desperate to make myself stop abusing. My fix is Vodka, or anything else if I run out of that. I have a complicated medical history and have had no luck with physicians prescribing any prescription meds due to interactions with my other meds. Recently put on a small dose of Topa, 50mg daily, due to hand tremors that started about 2 mo. ago. I am so aware of the dangers of our disease as I had a sister that drank herself to death at age 48. I am 54 and want to live to 90 as I have my first grandbaby six weeks ago. I can go to social events and avoid AL altogether but seems like my worst challenge is during the day. No thing triggers me, I can just be cleaning and decide I need a swig. I have tried L-glut with no affect. Take milk thistle daily to hopefully preserve my liver but all my liver function labs are so out of wack. I know I am headed for trouble but am too stuipid to stop. Have a great husband who is so supportive - we discuss my problem at times but other times just ignore the issue. The past four days have been horrible. I have finished off half a liter of Vodka during this time and been a real jackass. I've been reading this site for some time with fear of joining but here I am. Hope the support and advice I get here can help me reach my goal to be AF during the day when alone. Thanks for listening