Ian
I too am sorry that you are in so much pain. My only comment is that you are asking (reasonable) but unknowable questions right now... will you and your wife work it out? From the way you have described it- This is unknowable at present and maybe the best thing you can do is try and take care of yourself right now- which means addressing your drinking issue. I know for me- when I address my drinking issue other things seem to get better, almost as a 'by product' . That is not to say this is easy at all or that I am always successful. But as AAthlete says, the only thing you can do anything about is today, and yourself.
Wishing you much strength
-Sheep
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