Thanks again for the encouragement
On the way to placing an entry into Saturday lotto (I know thats bad as well), I had to pass a liquor store but refused to go in. I'm pretty pleased with myself, and although it is still early afternoon and I could let myself make excuses as to why I should go get some, I'm pretty determined not to do it.
I have been able to start trying to be AF a number of times in the past, but its day 4/5 where I always seem to run into trouble, when I've been sober just long enough to fool myself into thinking I can control myself and justify 'this time wont be so bad'. I'm hoping I can push through because I know when I'm brutally honest with myself and cut the ****, never drinking again is what I really want.
I'm so glad I found this website, being able to talk to other people who are in the same boat is really helping. And some of the things I've seen written by other people could easily have been written by me. I have a long way to go still, but day 2 is the best I've gone in a long time.