Hi all. Angie here. I quit once before and did a stint in detox. I started drinking cause I have terrible anxiety and haven't found a med that has worked. It feels so damn helpless.
I started drinking more and more. I started to worry cause I am petite and was drinking quite a bit. A few months ago it stopped being a social thing and became a slef medicating thing. I want to stop so bad, but after having gone through withdrawal I am terrified of going through that again. I literally wanted to die. I have also developed terrible OCD so I find that the only cure is booze. I want to be clean and done with it. I realize moderation is not an option for me. I realize that taking a one or two drink(s) will end in being in this situation again. I am terrified of withdrawal and I don't want to disappoint my friends and family by letting them see my relapse. They were so proud of me. This is just horrible and this thing is a monster. I envy all of you who have been strong. I am not. I miss all my AA meetings and went back to booze and I am scared it will kill me.
