Hi Red,
Time and time again we've all proved that drink doesn't help - only makes situations worse, so tempting as it seems to get blotto/hide/escape - all that we've used alcohol for in the past - please try not to! Sounds like there's a lot of talking to be done between you and your husband before you can make any decisions, and it will be so much better if you have a clear head. We're always here, so come back when you need!
Good luck
Arial