[Chardonnay123]

Maybe u can tell that I am feeling v optimistic and looking 4ward to the future. Or maybe I might just come down to earth with a bang v v soon. Either way, I feel more empowered right now - why?? - I feel more in charge right now - why?? - and more importantly I feel a lot more in control right now!!

It was my choice in Paris, to not drink wine (dangerous!!)but beer (of which I randomly tried - different regional and different tastes - fruits etc,.) I chose the beer and have a fully recollectable memory of my visit!. We had drinks with lunch, tea and into the night along with a gastronomic meal and an atmosphere to die for! Ok I know i was not
AF but to do that was a massive thing for me!!

I know I can do this, I feel I can do this even more since linking up with all of you - I know that sounds stupid! - I know a lot of people in our position - especially English I am sori to say - would not sign up to this sort of site which I found initially to be very 'American' in its over the top praise and 'looking out for you' sort of thing. BUT that is not what I was looking for and not what would have helped me (don't wori - I know I am not fully there - but know I can get there!)

What has helped me has been the knowledge that there are so so many other people out there from so so many different walks of life and nationality, that the things I thought, did, my drinking habits, the effect on family and friends, the blackouts, the guilt, oh the guilt! the anxiety, the spending,the lying, the hiding.....!!! are a common thing for this addiction - I thought it was just lonely ole me!!

Thanks for listening again guys, and hey lets take this one step at a time!! I have had a couple of glasse tonight already, but its the weekend and I am coming down from my trip - I am going to make a conscious effort to make a pot of coffee next.!!

Chard xxx