Sassy,
You will get past the self-loathing if you can make a concentrated effort to forgive yourself. You need to do that in order to get on with your life. Consider Monday night a just a "slip" and try to let it go. We all have to go thru mistakes to learn from them...then we can go on to make our life better.
You sound like you really want to get sober, so it WILL happen...you will make it happen. kriger
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