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Ya know Joe....I didnt read all the posts but what strikes me the most is your 2x cancer survivor.
I have no room to talk here but would that not have scared you into living a healthy life right there? Have you listened to "the last lecture" by Randy Pausch?
you should and I think I will post that in General D.
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THAT is what hurts the most...when i was a whole month in the hospital at one point, I had promised myself that I would be the healthiest person ever If I got through this. Well that didn't happen and 7 years later it hit again, and I survived it again, but yet I'm still weak to the Alcohol. I recently took up cycling as a hobby and joined a local club. That has helped, I'm just glad I joined this community, it has been good for inspiration.