Thanks Popeye & Michy..
You know what is killing me the most? Well, it's two things really.
One, I finally ADMIT to myself that I have a problem, and then turn around and have one of the worst drunks I've ever had in my life. Doesn't fill me with a lot of hope about what I can do moving forward, kwim? I know I will get past this, just feeling hopeless for the moment. I WILL keep trying, and I know with time I will be okay.
Two, I really just realized that I am head-over-heels in love with bf more then I thought. And that's not something I want to screw up and lose, and I know I will if I keep this up. You're exactly right, Pop. He's not going to stick around if it keeps happening. I have texted him twice today and he hasn't responded, so now I am more insecure then usual that maybe he already has decided he's had enough. Mind playing tricks on me (I hope.)
Just feeling hopeless and scared...and need to snap out of it. I really want to go shopping or go get a massage, but I feel like I deserve to just sit here and be miserable.
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