Thank you, 4. I do need to take a deep breath. I think I am just SO disappointed in myself. I finally admit I have a problem and take steps to do something about it, and then my problem gets worse. It doesn't make sense to me - I should be improving.
Also, I read a few threads here and there on MWO where I thought "well, at least my problem isn't THAT bad". Feeling like I was "better" then some others made me feel okay with admitting I had a problem. (It was a much smaller problem then a lot of peoples, so surely I could easily solve it). Now? I think we are ALL struggling just the same. I realize I am no better off then the next person. I am going to struggle, just like everyone else. This is going to be no easier for me. I will get no special treatment.
I have beat anorexia. I have kicked smoking. After that I got addicted to Nicorette gum and I beat that too. (LOL - YES, that really happened!)
I am starting to feel hopeful again (thanks to all of you) that I can beat this too.
P.S. My boyfriend finally responded to my texts today...he wrote "I miss you cutie" Perhaps this has added to my sense of hope, that I can recover from this terrible event and triumph over this. If he still loves me in spite of my stupidity and will support me, then I can do anything. I owe it to him to really try.
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