Tues. - July 29 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I'm under some pressure w/family situations (kids, aged parents), but I'm not using that as an excuse to drink. There could ALWAYS be an excuse to drink, & I want to break that pattern of needing "to take the edge off." There are countless people who get through all kinds of crises wo/resorting to drink. I want to be one of those.

That said: I have so much to be grateful for today. I'll be taking my g-sons to a nature program, & I know I'll enjoy it myself. If I were harboring a hangover, I'd be obssessing on that & all my guilt. I don't have that today, & for that I'm very, very thankful.

Pre-MWO, I was incredibly preoccupied w/my drinking prob. I got very little enjoyment out of life. My thinking was always centered around:
-when, where, & how can I drink?
-what am I doing to my aging body?
-is anyone noticing my prob?

Thank you everyone at MWO. Those concerns are no longer a part of my life today.

Love, Mary

[Beck]

Hello Everyone,

I am back from the first AF vacation of my adult life. Had a great time and remember all of it - such a bonus. Another bonus is that I have noticed for the past 3 months or so is that my kids no longer ask if I am going to participate in family activities - they just assume I will. (In the past, I often begged out - either hungover or preferring to stay home and drink)

Mary, I feel like I have been under some pressure for months. While I am happy that I am doing so well, I am aware that the 6 month mark (which I hit this week) can be especially difficult. In the past, any excuse to drink would do. Sometimes I struggle, but I don't drink.

Det, do well.

Janice, good to see you back

Today we are celebrating my DD3's birthday - she is 12. Off to go join in the festivities.

[ready2change]

Morning all....Mary, ditto to all your reasons not to drink. I feel so lost and out of control of my own actions. I know this sounds like an excuse...but I have no other answer. I go days AF and feel so great and then get drug down the abyss again. It doesn't help to have a drinking husband. You make promises together and end up breaking them together. I know I have to do this for myself. I just feel so out of control.

I read here on the boards daily looking for hope and inspiration. So many of you have succeeded. I know I can, I just need to find myself again to be able to do it. Thats the catch, I probably need to be AF to be able to find myself. Day one....AGAIN..wish me strenght.

R2C

[retteacher]

r2c: You can do this. For me, it's been a readiness issue. When I'm ready to stop, I will. So far so good, but I've had my struggles as you know. Just NEVER give up. You can do this. Mary

[4theboyz]

Good Morning Abbers!

Mary, enjoy the day with your G-sons at the nature program! Doing stuff like that really helps to "break the cycle" as you say. I have found the minute you let up and 'relax', AL takes that opportunity to sneak up on you and try and exploit any weaknesses in you daily efforts.

Good to see you back and doing so good Beck!

R2C, I feel for you as you seem to be in a difficult spot. The good thing is you do realize your need to make a change but trying to find yourself at the same time is what could be the hard part. Focus on the not drinking part of your life and the missing you just might appear when you least expect it.

I know when I did get far enough away from my old drunk self, it was the other people in my life who noticed the changes first. Whether the changes in your life are big or small, it will be worth the effort and I think it is great that you are still trying to do it!

Have a great AF day everyone!

[Determinator]

quick check in from Disneyland (my hotel is about 200 yards from there). Beck huge congrads on the AF vacation...tell us some details!
Ready2, good job for climbing back in the saddle with us so quickly and not getting mired in the defeat mentality.
Mary, 4thboyz and all to follow have a great day.

I didn't know Disney set of fireworks every night so that scared the willies out of me! LOL

be well friends

[ready2change]

Thanks for the replies Mary, 4TB and Det....your words of encouragement mean volumes to me. I feel like I know each of you personally and admire and respect your struggles with this beast.

I KNOW I can do this, I just need to make a promise to myself and respect that promise. I hate feeling like my life is out of control, when I'm the only one who can gain control of it?

R2C

[cowgal]

WOW, Beck, great job on an AF vacation, they are fun, aren't they?? And you remember everything, what a concept!!??

Ready2, I deal w/ the drinking husband, although he never makes promises to slow down or stop..................it is very difficult, but I have been told it can be done, I just haven't had long term success w/ it yet, I will share about it when I do! I am hoping my Lenair escape/treatment will help..............

Mary, you are so full of insight and good ideas.

Det, yeah those fireworks are a BANG, huh??!! Was jsut there last weekend, have fun!!

4theboyz, you sound great!! I am glad you are doing well, I am on day 2, so jumping back in the saddle too..................

love you guys,
MA

[pepper]

Hi all,

I am new here in abs. I did 30 days AF in November and then tried (unsuccessfully, obviously) to mod. Here I am back again after drinking heavily just about every day...I went AF yesterday after going on a bender Sunday night and seriously damaging my relationship with my boyfriend with my nastiness. Almost bought beer last night but didn't:-) Feeling really good this morning. Working on day 2. Any encouragement would be appreciated!

[ready2change]

Pepper...you can do this. WE CAN do this. Just think of how good it feels to be AF and HF (hangover free). Find something to fill your time during the witching hour. I know for me, if I come home and decide to cook dinner, I'm toast as I enjoy my wine whilst cooking. If I just go home and walk my doggies and get some take out...I'm thru the woods. So, think what works for you. And I'll meet you back here on the abs board to report our progress.

R2C