Hanging out with the modsters

[Croft]

So, it is 1:30 a.m on a Friday night. Well, a Saturday morning and I am in Day Five of a goal to go AF. Here is my story:

LIFE PRE MWO: Drink morning till night.
Jan 18, 08: Join MWO.
Jan 23, 08: Start supplements
Feb 1, 08: Start hypno CDs and Topo
Feb -08: Successful Modster
1HMar08: Successful Modster
2HMar08: Stumble and get advice that moding is too hard.
April 1, 08: Start AF goal
April 5, 08 1:30 a.m.: Discover that AF feels like being denied the finer things in life.

Please dont tell all the people I promised that I would not drink in April. Don't tell them I am over here whining. I don't want them to be dissappointed in me. But it is hard. I miss having a glass of wine with dinner. I miss having a beer with my friends after skiing. I feel like I am being punished. I guess maybe I am. I know it will be good for me to go all month and yea! me on April 30th, whatever. But I am so depressed on the 5th of April in the middle of the night. I am AF, but I am miserable. Anyway, I better go before I get caught. I will be back in May.

[LVT25]

Croft--you can hang out here, anytime!

[KAT20]

Croft Hi, I'm not exactlly the expert here but have the same goal here. Moderation. I am taking baby steps this time. I am working on Sun-Thurs no alcohol and mods on the weekend. This past week I made it Mon-Thurs, first in a long with 4 straight in a row. I find the idea of none
ever just makes be obsess about it more. So I try this thing in my head, "if you can't learn to do this then you will have to have none ever " Kind of like scolding a kid. I have heard that a habit takes awhile to build and even longer to quit. I think every time we try, miss our goal and try again we are trying to reprogram or habit. It definetly is alot of internal dialog in my little head but thats my stratgy so far as I want to be what people or even myself feel is a "normal" drinker. That goal in mind I will keep pushing on. Best to you Croft and always think positive.

[ducky]

Hey Croft, join us any time. I love your posts!

Hi Kat, Misty, Ltv. Kat I like your scolding idea!

[KAT20]

Hi Misty, welcome to MWO and mods.

[KAT20]

Feel free to post and share on any of these threads. Its a great community.

[trixietrack]

croft it's OK just stay vigilant. AL could be your friend if you are very careful and aware of how you consume, you wouldn't eat the whole cake at a birthday party would you?

just have a little piece and enjoy it. welcome to mods. it will take some time but it can be mastered.

[betty boop]

Hi guys, I am back with a huge confession, I pledged to go AF during the week, but It just didn't happen, I have been too embarassed to post here ...........

Mu daughters epilepsy took a turn for the worse, back to daily seizures, (have been approx 1 tiny one every month) one of them lasting 12 minutes which hasn't happened since her brain surgery 20 months ago, so I am gutted, I didn't drink to excess in case she needed me, but I did have some wine to 'help me sleep' any excuse .........

So i'm here with tail between my legs, my supps are already counted out for a new start this week ..........

Love & Hugs guys, BB xx

PS Hi Misty ....... to mods ......

[KAT20]

Bettyboop Hello, I meant to say something in the *#%$*@* thread but did'nt read it till this morning. Don't put your tail between your legs. If thats the only stressor causing you to break AF and your still in control I say good for you. I don't have children but could only imagine the helpless feeling. Very different but I remember when my old dog was ill and passed last year I rreally wanted to drink but did stay in control as I needed to be there for here. I think the key is to stay in control and not use it for all that stresses us. Thats what I was doing anyway. Prayers and love to you and your family.

[Ask For Help]

Happy Saturday Modsters!

Glad to see the conversation today. Welcome Croft and Misty to this thread.

The thought I have is that mods has it's own challenges - especially when starting.I think you have to be REALLY CLEAR on your goals. I have been working with a counselor, and she has to remind me sometimes what I said my goals are, because even with all the thinking and reading I do here, it's easy to get caught up with someone else's definition of success.

My initial goal was to mod but when I got enthused about the MWO program and all I'd read here I signed up for 30 days AF starting Jan 1st. I didn't make it . . . and I think the real reason is that it didn't reasonate with my true goals. I didn't want to be AF, I wanted to mod.

That being said, one of my goals was to break the daily habit of drinking, which was wicked hard. Those first few weeks of creating new habits to replace the habits of sipping wine while cooking dinner, enjoying wine while reading the newspaper after dinner etc. etc. well, it's just like the folks doing ABs. You've got to dig deep and find the strength and resolve to change habits.

And then there's the "OK, I've succeeded for a few months . . . now what?" and last week a situation came up where I thought, "OK this week I can drink 4 days instead of 3, as long as I keep the # of drinks/week goal ". . . but inexplicably I'm facing that same situation this week(having people over to my house, offering them drinks on what would be my 4th drinking day of the week). And I think, well, some of the modsters only do two AF days/week. . .

Ya know what? I have my goals and I need to stick by them, and not sticking by them two weeks in a row is NOT A GOOD IDEA - I think that's the beginning of a slippery slope SO I am committed to being AF that night, and use the tools I learned the first few weeks here.

Oh, I write these long epistles, but I have been puzzling out this issue of the last two weeks, so thanks for letting me state my resolve, which sounds more sure than I was before I started writing.

Best to all of you!

G