I want to moderate

[Peanut]

Hello mods,
I've been reading the posts here, and am seeing that for some, moderation is acceptable. I still have not recieved the supplies I sent away for, but we drank all the wine in the house last night, and now it is too late to go get some. So today will be my first AF day since January when I went on a detox program.

Although I keep telling myself May will be AF for me, I have a couple of events which I think may be too overwhelming. I might have a beverage or two, but I don't want to get wasted. That is my whole aim joining this program. Control over how much I drink. I am the old "one's too many, 10's not enough" type. The other thing I want to achieve is to not drink on work nights. This is what is really hurting me, as I am in a terrible sleep-deprived state everyday.

I want to be able to have some wine on friday/saturday night, but not on any other night. That would be a dream for me. I know the 30 days AL free is recommended, and I will try. But at this point, it is pretty much cold turkey for me with no help. I don't have a whole lot of confidence doing it this way, but whatever. I just hope that I can get out to the pool tomorrow night without my van detouring to the liquor store!

Peanut

[Peanut]

By the way, it is almost 9:30 here on the prairie. We are approaching the crucial time for me, as I usually sit down with the nectar of the gods at about 10:30. I am getting a bit panicked. I think I will take a muscle relaxant and knock myself out. I am super tired, but know I will not sleep - I tell myself I need the wine to sleep. And the proper amount of wine too!
P.

[boozehag]

Hi Peanut
If one is too many and ten not enough then somehow methinks moderation will not be an option. If you have never managed it before why would you be able to now. In my case I could never stop at one...hell no or ten even. In fact I always used to say there was no point in having one.. If I was out to lunch and had to go back to work or drive or something I would never bother having one glass of wine like others as there wasnt any point unless I could really go for it... Anyway those days are over for me and it just seems so bizarre now that I was so stupid to even think like that. I doubt very much if I can moderate and I dont even want to as it might suck me back into the vortex. You really should give the 30 days AF a go and once you have that under your belt then give moderation some more thought. From one who will be 30 days tomorrow it is so freaking worth it.......
BH

[Thankful]

Peanut, I wasn't going to respond to this because I don't moderate and figured I would leave the advise giving to those who do.

But, I agree with Boozehag on trying to get as many AF days under you belt first. I am concerned about your sleep patterns. You don't seem to really be sleeping. Forgive me, but you seem to be passing out instead. By going AF for a while, you can get your sleep under control.

When I came here, I only had intentions of cutting back. Was advised to do the 30 days first. I really didn't want to. I was so afraid that I would fail that I didn't want to commit to a whole month. But deep down inside I thought, hell if I can't go 30 days, I've got no business thinking I can moderate. So I kind of just pissed myself off to meet the challenge. And I am very glad I did.

I am not saying that you need to do this. I just wanted to share my opinion and my experience.

Best of luck to. We are here to help you through.

Love, Me

[ducky]

Hi Peanut,

When do you expect your supplies? I have been around a while but just got the starter kit last week and it does seem to be helping.

I agree with a lot of what has been said. If you have been drinking heavily every night it may be very hard to simply stop that pattern and moderate. I have not done 30 days AF but have managed to weave AF days in, and drink less when I do drink. And I do have my slips, as many of us do whether going for AF or mods.

Could you try to string some AF days together, even if you think 30 is not possible right now? Can you pick up some Lglut locally?

I am sure others will be along with some good advice. Please let us know how you are doing.

[Peanut]

Thanks for all your suggestions, and i do believe you are right. I have heard that an initial 30 days AF is the best way to go, and my plan was to go AF for May. But, seeing as I had no wine in the house last night, I couldn't drink any. Man!! I could hardly sleep though!!! I had a headache all night, and one particularly gruesome nightmare. I am quite groggy today, but at least not hungover or stinking of wine. My stomach is a bit sore too. I must be very strong today if I am going to to do it today.

The plan is to go walking at lunch time, as it is supposed to be really nice and warm and sunny today (then back to freezing tomorrow), plus walk home from work (3 miles) and go do my usual 2km swim tonight (I was way too tired to do it last night as a result of the drinking episode the night before).

Every day I go home, willing my supplies to be there, but no - not yet. Maybe i will go pick up some L-Glut locally, as I was really getting quite agitated last night. We have a run this weekend, with a potluck to follow, and I was eyeballing the de-alcoholized beer the other day. If I can make it though that day, when everyone else is downing beer, then I will be very pleased with myself. But, I will first get through this day, right?

Thanks everybody!
Peanut

[ducky]

Hang in there Peanut,

It seems as though many members struggle with sleeping when they first go AF, but it does improve. I have tried the AF beers and the St. Pauli's girl is not bad...I think that's the one I had recently.