New to this forum -- have a question

[Ask For Help]

You asked: has anyone else experienced trying to do 30 days and not being able to accomplish it and then trying to moderate instead? if so were you successful at moderating?

I am a person who did not complete 30 days AF and am in my 7th month of successful moderating. I read the book and the suggestion to do 30 days AF: however it didn't fit with my goals: I was more interested in learning how to practice moderation than doing 30 days AF.

I found the first month I needed to work hard to successfully "break the daily habit". It took new strategies(as River describes above) as well as paying attention to my triggers and lots of support from here (followed the Montyhy ABS threads) . I also had the help of a counselor (who specializes in addictions) who knew the 30 day program philosophy, but supported me in my goal to moderate. I started Topo and the supps in month 2, cut back on the supps after a couple of months, and am just now trying mods without the Topo. (If I need it I will restart.)

I found it important to set clear mods goals, what would success be? (my goal is drinking 1- 2 drinks no more than 3 days/week, for a total of 6 drinks/week.) I use drinktracker to hold myself accountable. I have also lost 22 pounds(with a goal of losing 12 more) and feel terrific and proud of myself.

There are many ways out: keep trying. PM me if you like.
AFH

[Thankful]

I am posting again because it was brought to my attention that my post was not helpful advise.

I was told that I "made several derogatory statements about modders". And that I was apparently telling 1morechace "don't listen to modders who might suggest another way to do it". And basically that I implied that there was only one way out.

As I don't not agree with the above, I do want to apologize if my post insulted anyone. I never said, nor do I feel that I implied that all modders here are the same. I do however stand by what I said. Perhaps not everyone has read all the posts I have read from self proclaimed "modders", or perhaps you haven't been in chat with a hostile drunk claiming to Mod. My opinions are based on what I have witnessed here with SOME members. I never implied that it was ALL members. People just have to be careful when they are looking for loopholes and "permission" to drink.

I'm not saying that cutting back can not be done, but very few can do that. Let's be honest here. How many years have so many of us wasted on trying to cut back?

And, as already mentioned in my first post, these are just my opinions.

It was never my intent to hurt anyone's feelings. My intent was to help. I never implied people should do it my way. I did indeed, refer people to the program outlined in RJ's book.

I hope that this clarifies what my intent was.

Again, 1morechace... I wish you the best of luck. We are here for you.

Love, Me

[Sunbeam]

I quit 6 days before finding this site. The support at this site enabled me to go 2 1/2 months Alcohol Free before trying to moderate. I think that going at least 30 days AF is very important. But some people need physiologically and psychologically to cut back slowly, it seems. I found that quitting was easier than cutting back, and quitting again was easier than the moderating I was doing a short time ago. I'm not thinking about alcohol as often if I'm not drinking.

That's just my experience. I hpe you keep coming here regularly so you can find Your Way Out.

[1morechance]

i really appreciate the feedback and support. i can see that what works for one person might not work for another so there is no right or wrong answer. i did fine saturday after i posted; i found out that when i really feel like drinking it is not a physical need but more of a psychological need and that's what my dr. was trying to explain to me based on what i told her about my drinking pattern. instead of going for AL i did some yoga, completed house work and the thought of wanting to drink was gone. today i was out most of the day, enjoying the sun and a great food and wine festival, believe it or not i did not have the wine but i had a great lobster roll and some lobster with mac and cheese for lunch. when we got back to town, we had dinner at an italian place and i had 1 beer and that was it. now i'm just going to get ready for bed.

thanks so much for all the support and suggestions; i don't know what i would do whithout this great group of people. i just have to make sure i come here often. i have another appointment for acupucture this coming week and i will continue with my supplements.