Almost hospitalised!

[lil.michelle]

HI all.

Yesterday i FINALLY got my supplements. As i got it in the evening i decided i'd wait to the morning so i could take a full days supply instead of starting at dinner. Good idea i thought. I also got another idea.... As this is my last day i'm going to have a last drink.... NOT A GOOD IDEA

Not often but sometimes when i drink i have like a mental/nervous breakdown. This was the worst i ever had. I fell out of bed 4 times, i fell over and smashed my head on my tiled floor and i almost fell down the stairs. It was my husband grabbing my legs that stopped me. I would have killed me. Sad thing is there’s a part of me that wishes i did. It would all be over with. My husband had to call my mother to help him look after me. What a nightmare.

I screwed up. I made a terrible mistake again. Now i'm not aloud to be alone even for a minute. When my husband is out he's going to drop me off at my mums so i'm not alone. I'm not even allowed to be upstairs on my own. I've brought this on myself. I accept and do not fight that my life is being taken away by my family who love me as drink was taking my life away anyway.

I've started taking my supplements and i feel hopeful. I haven't craved any but that could just be that last night is still fresh in my mind.

My parents are sending me to be hypnotized and i've used for different things and it's worked well.

The scary thing is that all the ladies on my dads side of the family are alcoholics. Maybe it runs in the genes. I have a 9 month old baby girl, i need to protect her and make sure she'll not go down the path i have.

I'd just like to say a huge thank you to all the family members who watch there loves go through this curse, who stay and help support us and take us through our faults. If it wasn't for people like them,we would have no chance in this cruel world.

So this is my day one AF!

[akgirl]

Soooooooooo glad you are okay. Extra prayers for you. Your family loves you and your little one needs you, stay strong

[Gia]

Oh my God... lucky he was there to grab you.
That sounds horribly scary.
I hope it works for you Michelle.
You deserve to be happy. Hold your baby close.

[magic]

Hi Michelle,

I'm glad you got your supps. and that you have the support of your husband and your mother.
Take that support, it is valuable to you. you are so lucky to have them.

Alcohol takes so many things away BUT as you gain AF days precious things, like freedom, return.

I haven't gone back and read all of your past posts but you mention having a 9 month old baby girl. Life changing and challenging to say the least. Have you considered post-partum depression? I went quite nuts after my first born. *Just read some of your posts. Increasing the dose of antidepressants.....perhaps changing the drug will help.

You have my sympathies regarding your sick child, Michelle, and sleep deprivation. You need sleep! But these are the things that we, as alcoholics, need to learn to cope with with out drinking.
I'm glad she is feeling better.

The world looks cruel to you right now, I know. Perhaps in some corners of the world it is, but I'll guess that in yours it doesn't have to be and you're the one to change it.

I think that you can. Through hard work, sheer determination and honesty you can have sobriety and a healthy mother/ daughter relationship.

You're in my thoughts Michelle,

magic xxx

[SassyGirl]

Wow Michelle...

Don't give up on yourself. Getting started takes a ton of courage...
We'll all be cheering you on.

Sassy

[lil.michelle]

Thank you soooo much everyone. I feel like such a failure as a wife and mother after last night but i KNOW i can do this. I WILL break free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[magic]

Failure!

Never! Only if you quit trying!

m. xxx

[KateH1]

Michelle, You are not a failure. But, you definitely need to get alcohol out of your life. I am glad that your husband was with you this time, and that you have the support of your family.

The supplements help a great deal. But, it is up to you to change your thinking process and not pick up that first drink. That is really the only drink you need to worry about. The first drink. Stay determined and keep your mind on other things, like your baby girl.

We cannot change our genes, but you can protect your baby girl now and in the future by getting alcohol out of your life.

Stay Strong, Stay Focused! Best Wishes!
Kate

[vera-b]

Hi Michelle,

Kate's words are dead on. You've got some of the tools now, so time to flex the no booze muscle. Don't let (and I do mean let) alcohol define you as a bad wife and mother. You are no such person. We know you can do it, because others have and they've lived to tell about it!!

We're all in your corner. When you succeed, we all do. And just think - the gift you give those little babes of yours, a sober Mommy - what could be better?

V.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

You are blessed to have such a wonderful family! I know you can do this with their help : )