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Old 01-19-2014, 07:36 PM
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Default First time and wondering what I am?

Hello this is my first time here at MWO. I am 28yrs old and I never thought i had a problem, I still don't know really what to label myself as...
I don't get serious urges to drink, it doesn't affect my work and I'm reasonably healthy in the way I live my life. I usually only drink on weekends, except that pretty much each time I drink, I have a hard time controlling my consumption. I have been blacking out just about every time I get drunk and I never know when enough is enough.
It scared me because I'm still quite young and I do enjoy a nice glass of wine with a good meal, but i get nervous even before I have a drink now since I know it often ends in me blacking out and saying or doing something stupid and feeling guilty and anxious the next day.
Am I an alcoholic, how did this happen and is there a way to learn to have a couple drinks responsibly without going over the limit?
Thank you
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Old 01-19-2014, 07:44 PM
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Hi nattyc and welcome to mwo. so glad you have found us now and not 20 years down the line. To answer your question are you an alcoholic, I would say yes. I fought for a long time against describing myself as such, when all said and done its only a word. The way you describe your drinking does sound like there are problems ahead so its fantastic that you have noticed now and can address things. Have a good read around, lots of great info here as well as other peoples stories and keep posting and let us know how you feel.
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Old 01-19-2014, 07:55 PM
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Nattyc just hang out, read different posts, give yourself some af time, and then you can decide from there.
I was a binge drinker just like you. I found MWO and it has changed my life.
The Newbies Nest is a great place to start and the tool box is a great place to find ways to beat alcohol.
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Old 01-19-2014, 10:57 PM
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natty_c,

Welcome. I've been here about a year and I still don't know what to label myself. I think I've settled on former over drinker. I'm 56 and with my drinking I single parented and worked my own business. I didn't think alcohol affected my work, but it did. When I over drank I, too, said and did stupid things. This affected my relationships and my self esteem and lack of self esteem affects everything.

Your question about learning to have a couple of drinks responsibly is a hot topic and there are threads that address it. I wanted to drink here and there--mostly the ritual toast with friends. I decided to take baclofen and I am able to do it, BUT I still have to make the choice. This is, by far, the second best thing I've done (my son's the first).

Read around and post. There's an awful lot of experienced folks here.
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Old 01-20-2014, 02:49 AM
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Hi Natty_C!
I am also 28 and it took me a long while to figure out that yes, I did have a problem with AL. I joined a couple years ago and have had my ups and downs but I do find this community helpful. I am currently 19 days AF and feel like it is going to stick this time around. When I started out I read all the posts, bought the book, and got the starter pack of supplements. Looking at the issue holistically is a great way to take care of yourself. If you have any questions or want to talk, feel free to PM me. Also check out the Newbies Nest. There is roll call there which is a great way to be accountable if you choose to be AF, and there are threads about nearly everything! Welcome!
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Old 01-20-2014, 05:09 PM
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Hey Natty,

I'm not sure the label is as important as identifying if alcohol is a problem in your life, and if so, can you stop? If not, perhaps the answer to your question is "yes". I started out drinking similarly to you, in that I began to be incapable of controlling my drinking on the few days I did drink, whilst leading a healthy lifestyle and working. Let's just say my drinking evolved from there into a big problem and I wish I had the foresight you have to be curious and anxious about alcoholism long before I went down this long road. I label myself various things on various days, and to various people: but to be sure, I have a problem with alcohol and can't drink any longer. Started at around age 28 myself, I'm 32 now.

I miss wine with dinner too, but I don't miss it when I consider what that easy pairing led me to. This community has been great, so stick around, and don't be afraid to reach out!

Good luck!
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Old 01-21-2014, 08:14 PM
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Thank you thank you everyone! It is so great to know there are ppl feeling like me or who have felt this way in the past. I've been reading alot around and I'm going to try and be AF for as long as I can, and see how I go.
I don't think I'm ready to be AF free for the rest of my life...nor do I think I want to be. I want to be able to have A ""social"" drink responsibly once in awhile, I hope there is way to figure that out.
For now I'm going to try and be AF for as long as I can and see how I get on.

Thank you again everyone
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Old 01-21-2014, 08:49 PM
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Hi Natty, I came across this definition of alcoholism in an addiction book the other day: "difficulty abstaining from alcohol". WOW, I thought.. Only difficulty? Not impossibility? No laying in a ditch shaking from withdrawal required? It opened my eyes. I guess it doesn't really matter what we call it.. As long as we realize we have a problem and try to correct it.

Good luck on your journey!!
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Last edited by DipGal; 01-22-2014 at 02:32 PM..
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Old 01-22-2014, 02:13 PM
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Hi Natty,

First off congratulations on having the courage and the concern to post. At 28 I was oblivous to the impacts of alcohol. Not long out of college I considered weekend drinking normal, no matter how much I drank. Fast forward 26 years and I found myself downing a 1/5 of vodka a day. Didnt matter if I appeared normal, held down a good job, raised kids, and a have long marriage, I was in the abyss.

Forget the labels, you obviously recognize a problem (again, very mature). Alcoholism shapes itself in many forms and its impacts vary from one to another. Just be thankful that you haven't done anything to ruin your life.

Now the issue is what to do about it. Like many of us you seem to lack the cut-off switch. To that end you have a problem. You have to ask yourself, knowing this problem, if having a nice glass of wine is worth the risk that some day you'll find yourself in my shoes, or worse, than continue to drink...it may be that you find that you can moderate. Many do. I can just tell you in hindsight that it isnt worth it. My advice to you would be to walk away. Knowing that you black out when you drink you really are a second away from a DUI, cheating on a loved one, a bad choice in a partner, or any of the many ways that people behave when they are out of control after one way to many drinks.

Good luck. No matter what pat yourself on the back for having the maturity to worry.
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Old 01-23-2014, 11:40 PM
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I had the hopes that I could moderate and have a social glass of wine with dinner etc. However, the people I usually have dinner with don't stop at one glass of wine, they usually finish off the bottle; sometimes it is the normal size bottle, sometimes the 1.5 liter. So I have had my stints of trying to moderate, especially when things are a little rough or a couple of us didn't feel awesome, had a migraine etc. Every time it just ended up being a big struggle that ended up with being right back to my old habits. It is hard being 28 and not drinking, especially at social situations such as concerts and festivals. And when part of studying for an exam or working on a paper is going to the local pub. I have considered using the "I'm pregnant" line so people don't look at me weird, but that is just another bag of worms. So this is my third or fourth time around when i really made an effort to be AF. The other time didn't stick and I unsuccessfully tried to moderate. This time around I know that is not an option for me. I hope you are able to find the balance you need. If you do happen to slip, remember it is not the end of the world, pick yourself up and come back here. I wish you all the best. It is difficult with our age and the social scene.
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