going to bed sober again....:)

[shirazgirl]

Hi guys,
I guess I am still a newbie. I have been part of this group for about 2 months. I just want to share a little to maybe help others. We all have our own story. I never hit rock bottom, I never called out sick of work, nobody has ever mentioned that I drink to much. It was purely me....guilty, not remembering what show I watched or who I may have called (that was the worst part in the am...looking at my phone to see who I talked to and having NO IDEA of what it was about). I guess I was lucky. I have been around addiction education for a good part of my life and I realized the beast was too...chasing me.

Okay, my point is that I decided to make a change. I didn't want to go AF because it seemed overwhelming to say I would never drink again. I DID buy this book and ordered the supplements slowly. I did order the TOPA online as I was to embarrassed to talk to my DR. I did take the Topa and it did work and I believe that it helped me to break the bad habits I had developed. Unfortunately for me....I had bad side effects. In the three weeks that I did take it I did things very, very, differently. I used to come home from work and crack a beer (to start with) because for some reason, I thought I deserved it after a long working day. I replaced that beer with a glass of Ice Tea and used that to help me through dinner/ cooking time. Then, I decided to go back to the gym. So instead of being home at 5, I was home at 7. I felt like I was doing something good for myself and seemed conterproductive to start drinking in the evening (I like getting up early). Oh yes, I missed my little wine glass and sometimes I would even put something in it, but not very much. I just went to my first Tai Chai class tonight. I came home and made a little something to eat. The thought of drinking NEVER crossed my mind. I am grateful for this. I still take the supplements daily, (amino, evening primrose, B-12, Gaba, Glutemine and Kudzu). I think it's a combination of things. It's getting better. I love waking up and not hating myself. I love waking up and being sore from testing the boundaries of my PHYSICAL being and not from falling into a dresser. Off to the beach on Friday for a weekend with the girls. No longer worried if someone will "catch on" to me. I plan to bring board games and bathing suits. I will remember this weekend.

Life is beautiful everyone. There is a different road for everyone. We read posts and make some. Take what you need and leave the rest. I hope I have helped someone tonight. Happy tomorrow, happy me,,,,no more shiraz xoxoxo

[louise]

Originally Posted by shirazgirl

Hi guys,
I love waking up and not hating myself. I love waking up and being sore from testing the boundaries of my PHYSICAL being and not from falling into a dresser.
Happy tomorrow, happy me,,,,no more shiraz xoxoxo

That is wonderful that you made a change before things got out of control. Congratulations.

[akgirl]

You have helped someone...me. Your story sounds very similar to mine. The being sore part made me chuckle (I have a scar on my knee) I went to bed AF for the first time in years last Thurs. I'm not doing as great as I would like but better than I hoped. Small steps for now. Thank you for sharing your story. Happy tomorrow to you

[headless1]

Today is my 77th day AF. I like your approach Shiraz. You are looking at the positives and realizing the downside. Every minute passes never to return. I know this and am enjoying the moments I can w/o booze. Life is still tough but worth every inch you can squeeze out.
I face a dilemma, vacation to another country w/drinkers that I know. My enjoyment of not having a bottle tied around my neck will end. When I return I will draw a line in the sand again. If I had known I'd be sitting here on day 77 I never would have booked the trip. It's as if destiny has come to me to challenge me but it is too early for me. If there's anyone who would have advice I'm listening. It seems as though I have made my mind up that I will drink!! Really feeling mentally confused about being out of my environs and not knowing how I will react. Well I guess September is as good a month to start as May was. I am depressed just thinking about having to start day 1 AGAIN. Thanks for listening, I am too damned #$@*#@ to type. Keep on Shiraz, CYA in September

[AMELIA]

Shirazgirl,
Good for you. You sound like you have found what works for you and it is working!! Yes, I feel so much better when I am alcohol free. You feel free....not tied down with an awful 'secret'....
Keep up the good work.
xxx

[DeeBee]

Thanks for such an inspirational post Shirazgirl!!

[A Work in Progress]

Shiraz, that's FABULOUS! A wonderful post. I'm so happy for you.

headless, you might want to start your own thread, so as not to get lost here... you certainly DO seem to have decided that you WILL be drinking on this trip, and you seem unhappy about it. Maybe re-think that decision? Why start drinking again? It might be really, really hard to re-stop... For me, it usually took years of additional alcohol abuse before I could re-stop, when I turned away from AF living and started drinking again... and I think that is fairly typical...

best wishes,

wip

[cmhguy3]

Thank you for some great morning inspiration! I almost folded tuesday night and you reiterate why I amglad I did not! And I still have a bruise from my last binge! LOL

Guy
Day 19 AF!

[LVT25]

Shiraz--thank you for sharing such a wonderful, inspirational story!

Headless--I had a wedding this past weekend--I was at 69 days AF, but I decided to test the waters. I had 1/2 glass of beer, a glass of wine with the toasts, and another beer later--none of which tasted that great or did anything --good or bad--for me.
Now I kinda wish I would have just passed on it. Alcohol is over rated!

[shirazgirl]

Thank you so much for your positive posts. It really means alot to me. I am now just starting to post on newbee stuff. Sometimes, I don't feel very qualified to give advise as I am still on my spiritual journey of awareness and my teacher is within the cosmos... I only know what is working for me.

I guess I will STOP saying I'm a professionsal Attorney as I think I have hid behind that juris number for long enough.. I am you, the stay at home Mom, I am you, the adult child of an alcoholic, I am you, losing your house to foreclosure because the disease pissed away all the money. If I am not technically you, I am one step away from being you. Being a professional with the wherewithall to make a boat load of money, makes me no different at the end of the day, when I drink to much, embarass myself, my family and coworkers. It's all the same. I am you and you are me....Just looking for a way out.

What is working for me IS working for me. Check my posts and see where I have been. If I can help, I would be giddy...if not, maybe another one from someone else. I have posted my photo to personify myslef and admit and let myself be out there.......It's very freeing for me...
Live to love and love to live...