help!

[andrew212]

how does one regain the trust of loved ones. I don't drink daily or hadn't had a drink in a month but yesterday I had one that led to many more. Embarassed myself, the family has lost faith and i think I have too. How to I gain self respect?

[Doggygirl]

Hi Andrew and welcome to My Way Out. I assume you found us because you have problems with alcohol and really DO want to solve them.

As far as trust goes, I guess the top thing that comes to mind is that talk is cheap. If you have promised not to drink, and then drank, the words stop having meaning to your loved ones. What matters is your actions.

If the My Way Out program sounds interesting to you, I would start by downloading the My Way Out book from the Health Store. It explains the entire program and how to implement it. And of course this forum is an incredible resources for support - from people who do understand the problem you are looking to solve.

There is no magic. The MWO program incorporates great tools - but it is still hard work and nothing can change that. But it DOES WORK if you work IT. I love being sober. You can do it too.

Best wishes,
DG
Day 87 Alcohol Free

[greeneyes]

Hello Andrew and Thanks for starting the thread today. Be aware that weekends are sometimes a little slower.

This thread is a good place to start. I believe you regain trust ODAT. One Day At A Time. If you feel the family has lost faith, I am guessing that the type of event you describe has happened um..... some time(s) in the past? Tell us a little more about yourlself and what you want to achieve and we will support you in reaching your goal. Read and post on this board and you will find someone like yourself and learn from thier experiences.

It's really overcast here and a bit damp with a forecast for showers. Not as hot ,which is good, but today was the day I was going to cut the grass, which I have never done before. Maybe I'll tackle the edging and some shrub trimming and get to the grass tomorrow but I am determined to get it cut OBAT (ne blade at a time)

Yesterday was a weak day for me. I surely wanted a drink. Hubby was a very difficult situation with his lying and contradicting my intuition and heart-string pulling. Three integral friends "happened" to show up in my life yesterday and rallied me onward in my departure from my situation. One had luch with me and as we walked in I took a fortune cookie from a bowl and said I'm having a cookie first and see what my fortune is. It said (since you asked) Let intuition rule this month and you will find success. Letting my intuition rule is important for me as hubby has taught me doubt and mistrust regarding that aspect of myself. I want it back and I'm going to get it like Andrew will get his faith back in himself. Being sober helps. Hey, today is 60 days!

Best to all to come.

[LookingToGrow]

Andrew, trust and respect are earned, over time. That being said, welcome to the site! Read some posts and find a place to jump on board Try the Newbies Nest or Day 6 Army threads. Sometimes we post silly stuff but that's to lighten things up a bit. We all take this journey to heart and are here to support and move onward and upward. Best of luck!

[marbella]

Andrew

Welcome!

My advice is to try not to dwell on the past (it just makes you want to drink more).

I asked an AA member this once (never been myself, but he had) as I was too embarrassed to contact a family member over something stupid I had done. He said "Dont worry, as long as she sees you sober she will just be glad to have you back- regardless of anything you have said". Or something like that anyway. I think that was great advice.

[one2many]

Make it a rule of life, never to regret and never look back.
Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it, it is good only for wallowing in.

(Katherine Mansfield)


I hope you forgive yourself soon...then you can move on.

Love,

o2m

[kriger]

Welcome Andrew,
Everyone already said it, trust is regained over time. If you tell someone you are going to do something, by God you do it. If you decide to start this program, and I hope you do, you will find mountains of support through the rough patches-stay with us and those too will pass. Before you know it you will find you can become AF. You'll gain a new respect for yourself and finally, in time, the respect will return from your family. I wish you all the best and I hope you decide to stay.
Greeneyes, WhoHoo on the 60 days... that is fantastic....go out and treat yourself to something really special!
Top of the monrin' to LTG, Dolp, Capt and Doggy!
kriger Day11

[kriger]

Oh, Oh, I cross posted w/ Marbella and O2m- Good Morning Gals- how are you doing? kriger

[LookingToGrow]

Greeneyes, Go have some ice cream! Wonderful work You did the 30 days twice. You over achiever...LOL!! Here's to 60 more

[savon19]

Hi Andrew -

Your family has seen that you are sincerely attempting to quit, since you stopped for a month. (Great accomplishment!)

You don't say how you embarrassed yourself or your family, but if you hurt someone's feelings, a sincere apology should help.

You now know that "having just one" doesn't work for you.

I, too, have said & done things when drinking that I shouldn't have. I have no control over who accepts my apology(ies). All I can do is show that I have reformed my life. I pray that I will never lose control due to alcohol for the rest of my life.

What's sad is that all humans make mistakes. We really don't need any extra help (ALCOHOL!) in making them!!

Take care of yourself.

Sherry