I really need some help!

[acadiaofmaine]

Hi everyone,

I have been lurking for quite some time and trying to gather my strength to go AF. I did MWO a couple of years ago and managed to string almost 3 months together AF! I felt great, but lost the battle when a friend of mine, a former drinking buddy and very good friend, came to visit. So two years later I am back where I was, and worse!

I'm 51 years old with two kids. One of them has juvenile diabetes and this is just so stressful. I have to get up in the night to test her blood sugar, and then I feel so anxious and wired I drink some wine to go back to sleep. Now I'll even take a few swigs at 6 AM, just to see if I can snag another couple of hours of sleep! Talk about self medicating.

I can see how AL is robbing me of my energy, self esteem, work ethic, relationships-everything many of you has mentioned. I really need to get back to a healthier lifestyle, and most importantly, get back my dignity. Hiding wine bottles and drinking in the morning, just to cope with the day, does not make me feel too great!

I admire all of you who are trying, succeeding, getting back on the wagon. I don't seem to have the energy to make myself stop, plus I am afraid of not sleeping, and of the withdrawal symptoms. I have campral, which worked well before, and melatonin, which does seem to help me sleep. I ahve lots of books to read on AL abuse, including MWO. All the tools, none of the energy! Or is it courage?

I would love your help, any words of encouragement. Next week my family and I go on vacation, typically a big drinking time for me, and I really don't want to do that. It's too hard to surreptiously chase down wine, surreptitiously drink it, and try to make sure my very saavy 13 year old doesn't catch on! They educate kids so well in schools these days, about the dangers of smoking and drinking=he must think I'm an idiot! AofM

[LookingToGrow]

Can you jump in to chat?

[shelbysmiles]

Welcome back!

If getting sober takes energy I may never make it! Seriously though, I'm learning that it takes resolve. You have to tell yourself that you are done and there is nothing else to talk about. Nothing good ever came from drinking.

Best wishes on your journey! You will find loads of encouragement!

[Cinders]

Acadia,

Unfortunately, you do know the drill. Been there done that.

Take the supplements. I always recommend that. They truly do help.

The ALLOne is the core for me. I hate it but swig it down every day. When I travel and forget it, I can already feel by the end of the week that my body is missing it.

If you are afraid of withdrawals, go to a doctor. Get some Ativan or Librium to get through the first week. Bad withdrawals are nothing to sneeze at.

I am not sure if you tried the topamax before but many have great success on it.

I am taking Antabuse because of this particularly nasty propensity to cave at the least thing.

A friend suggested I take Campral with it and I have started that today. It did not "work" when I tried it before but I was also not abstinent while taking it. (You know that nasty propensity to cave at the least thing...)

Others have done well with Naltrexone.

In my opinion, keep working and trying until you find what works for you.

You did it before and I know from that, you can do it again. This time you may be able to deal better with a situation like the last one that led you back down the drinking path.

Good luck. and back!!
Cindi

[universal]

Acadia,

First off let me say how much I admire your courage in telling us your story. It sounds like a difficult thing, and sleep when you have to wake up for a diabetic son is difficult in it's own right. I have a 7 year old daughter, who is thankfully very healthy and I can only imagine the stress of dealing with a son with diabetes must be for you.

That being said, you know you can do this as you have done it before. The site has grown a lot in the past couple of years since you've been here and I'm sure you will find all the support you need. I for one was amazed when i joined just how much support there is here.

You have all the tools.......you already know the program. So now it is up to you to make the effort - and we all know how hard that is. Lately a lot of us have been using AF beverages to help - even just to slow down. Maybe when you go on vacation you could bring some AF wine and just start with that? Even if you do drink some it may help you to be more moderate? I know it has worked for me in the past.

Glad to see you came back. You can do this, you know you can. Your son already knows all you do for him and that you love him.........this one is for you. And you can do it - we'll all help.

Welcome back!

Love and Hugs,
uni

[acadiaofmaine]

For some reason, my computer won't let me into chat due to unknown publisher? I'd ask my computer guru husband about this, but I haven't told him anything about this issue and although I know he knows I drink too much, I don't think he gets it. That's part of my problem and sadness, the isolation of being a Drinker!

If you can tell me how to get to chat, I'll be there!
Thanks, all!

AM

[universal]

You have to have java....it's a program, do you have that on your computer do you know? I had the same problem at first - if not I'm sure you can download it if you google java......

[acadiaofmaine]

Thanks, I will try to get Java. Who knew?

I am already feeling a tad better just talking about this problem. It's like a huge elephant in the room. Going to get the All One powder tomorrow, which as I recall, is just wretched, but admittedly good for you!

I hope you all have a great evening and thanks for listening.

A

[A Work in Progress]

Good for you, Acadia! Yeah I have not made friends with the AllOne powder, I have to engage in some serious disguises for it... glad you already know the drill and you really want to make the necessary changes! You can do this! Vacation can be a great time to do it, esp. with a nosy 13-yr-old peering over your shoulder... won't it be great not to worry about him worrying about YOU!

best wishes,

wip