Need a Buddy!

[WaitingToExhale]

Well, here I am again! In October, it will be 2 years since I joined this site. Two grand attempts on getting this under control and I failed.

Actually I am not surprised I failed, because both times that I took a good hard look at needing to change my drinking problem, I was coming out of a relationship. The failure of the relationships not directly connected to my drinking, but I sure made some stupid mistakes because of it. And I think I failed because I was choosing the wrong (weak) times to try.

I need help with this and I need a buddy. The support here is great, but I MUST make it this time. Is there anyone out there that perhaps wants to buddy up and walk the journey together? Someone where we can call each other if needed?

I have my start date set the first week of September. The reason for the delay is I want to make sure I have all of the pieces of the puzzle in place, as I am NOT going to fail a 3rd time.

I have re-ordered the book. God only knows why I threw out / lost (?) my first copy. Ditto for the CDs and they should arrive in a few days. I have all the supps and have already been taking them for a few weeks.

My 54th birthday is coming up on the 30th of August. I am just a few months down the road (and only 30 days of no contact) with a very intense breakup. I still feel amazingly fragile and wounded after he dumped me in shock.

I am spending 5 days in Vegas with a friend for my birthday. I can't be alone with my thoughts of "him". I also know the temptation to drink while in Vegas, it's my birthday and I will be thinking about the fact that I was supposed to be in Italy with him ... well, it's a set up for failure. Hence the September date.

I am also going to try Topa and have been doing quite a bit of reading on it. I'm not certain I will ever be able to moderate. Just trying to get back out there and socialize and get my life back after this break up. .. the wine just seems to be everywhere. And we all know the booze deepens the depression.

I'm stronger than I was just a few months ago. But I didn't have the book or the CDs. I am now convinced that I need to arm myself with everything possible to break this awful cycle. I need to come out the other side of this the better and brighter person I lost long ago.

I feel like I have 3 addictions to overcome.

1) Him ... who I KNOW is not right for me but I am still reeling from the shock. I feel strong enough now to try to move to addiction #2.

2) Wine. I have good days and hold it to 2-3 glasses, I have days that 2 bottles is nothing.

3) Smoking. What a nasty habit. My therapist suggested I try to quit drinking and smoking at the same time. Wow. Not sure how that would work right now. Thoughts? I know I can never quit smoking while I am still drinking out of control.


Any advice is greatly welcomed. I love you guys. I have to make it this time, and this time forever.

Anyone need a buddy?

WTE

[one2many]

WTE,

Glad to see you back....We have a new thread...the AF Army. over on general...all of us in the same boat...struggling.....and we have a lot of people scheduled to stop in Sep too.
I would love to be your buddy and I know the others would too.

So happy to see you back!

Love,
o2m

[WaitingToExhale]

Hey 02m! Thank you. It's good to be back. I'll look for the threads on the AF Army.

It's been a long and tough couple of months, but I really think I am ready this time.

Hugs GF! (can I call you at 3 AM Ireland time? LOL)

Love,
WTE

[one2many]

Sure you can hon, so happy you are here, we have a great bunch of people on the thread. most of who will be on your time....so come on over!

[DeeBee]

Welcome Back WTE!!

Sign up with the AF Army today... there's a great bunch of people there who all support and understand one another

[WaitingToExhale]

Thanks DeeBee! What is the time change from California to South Africa? LOL

[startingover]

Hi WTE,
You sound strong and very positive. You will do brilliantly.
If you want a buddy......I'm here.

[tlrgs]

welcome back .. do your best and stay strong and think positive

[clarecole]

A buddy is just what I need, too. I have also set my start date for the first week in September. I can't wait to chat more.

[nanlovesdogs]

WTE,

Everyone here is your buddy! Keep in touch.