New & Confused....

[Thalyanna]

Firstly, I'm just spent about 2 hours trying to navigate the site and went from Betty Boop/Pea's saga (which I think may have been deleted) to the beautiful pool analogy...but,
it's all made me feel a little computer-illiterate, what with all the bells & whistles & threads, et al.

Here's the thing: I've been trying to do the MWO program for about 2 months now, and just can't seem to get started. I've got the supplements, I've got the Topamax, etc....
have had a few start-dates here, a 3-days there....

Me: I'm a indie fashion designer/business-owner trying to stay afloat, on my 13th year. The pressures are great. Born in the midwest with alcoholic & workaholic genes acerbates the stress and I've been on multi anti-depression meds since 9/11 (being part of that fashion-week NYC downtown area scene) which interestingly enough, I had not known caused increased cravings for alcohol until I read it here just now. I've also identified very much with the recently-divorced person, as my drinking really did start to increase then.

These are just a few reasons/excuses why I try to escape into an vodka-induced state of mind, daily, starting at about 2:00.

I KNOW that I have to quite drinking. My life and my business depends on it. I am slowly deteriorating. AAA is just SO not me (for so many reasons and I think you all understand them, otherwise you'd be there, not here). I've read Alan Carr's book....been all over the internet. The MWO program is the first that truly made mental, physical and spiritual sense to me...and I do believe in it. And I do believe it will work for me. And I'm so happy that it's worked for so many of you, and that you continue to come here and help others.

Here's my problems: I'm having a problem getting started. The hypno tapes just don't resonate with me...maybe I just can't let go enough. Has anyone done this program without them? (Does the guy's voice distract anyone else?)
#2: I feel like I need somebody...me, who's the loner! I am trying to reach out for someone to help me get started here, just like in the book, a one-on-one e-mail buddy maybe, and while this site's really wonderful, I'm not a my-space kind of person...I don't go on-line that much...don't have the time. Plus I just can't seem to figure out how someone gets the support here....there's all these threads....guess I need a computer class. I'm not sure I'll know if anyone even answers this post. I mean, I'm not stupid, but I need help, I need a friend...and when I get past this, I promise I'll be a great mentor to someone else. Is there a place for one-on-one help? I know it would be so useful to have just someone to mentor me in getting a jumpstart.

Any suggestions? I'm sorry. This isn't really clear, I know.
I believe in the program and in the community. I guess I don't believe in myself. The book/tapes liturature talks about the whole visualization, and the clearer you are, the better off you'll be. Wow, for someone like me who can only think in the visual, I cannot see this one....

[Dolly Sunshine]

What supplements do you have? You have read the book? Are you following the book as far as dosing up on the topa? I'm not trying to put you on the spot but you seem all over the place. You can get tons of support here if you want it and are making an effort to work toward recovery. Feel free to pm me anytime.

[Boss.man]

Hey I'm a business owner. I even found online a study that targeted business owners because they have super-stressed adrenal systems that are really not normal to other people.

The US has 360 million people, and 350 million of them wish they owned a business. They think the freedom from working schedule, from boss requests, and from wages would be "nice" or even "fun".

You and I know the other side. Working schedule: 24x7. Boss: your customer. Wages: sometimes negative. No worker ever earns less than minimum wage, but the business owner often does.

You WON. You got through 13 years, and you'll get through 13 more years. You conquered the tough customer. You've dealt with the IRS. If you lived in King Arthur's court, you would wump those knights so bad your would have the head of the round table. If you were one of King Henry's wives, you would have been ruler of all of Britain while he sat in the tower. You have the power.

You can't possibly believe you will cede your power to a liquid.

Alcohol has a weird bunch of chemical reactions. It overloads your blood sugar, and serotonin, while diminishing your dopamine which your higher brain needs to handle higher level activities. Alcohol creates an artificial dependence, simply because you LET IT do so.

So the key friend you need is simply yourself. You are definitely tough enough, you've already shown that to the world. Now you just have to look at yourself and say I'm ready for the next step. I'm ready to move beyond the time I let a liquid control my life.

Everyone here on this forum will help. We've all been there, and still are fighting the great fight.

[Sunbeam]

I think no one individual here can give you the advice you need. Your need a selection of suggestions. Jump on one of the threads, that is really a group. "Booze Busters", the August "Come one, Come All,", "30 days?". I started out with the one coordinated by Sweet Pea (Fireworks!). The groups are all great. It is nice to have a home where people will develop a sense of you. This thread will get responses. You could also start a thread on Tell Us Your Story.

[Lila]

hi Thalayana
welcome - just keep posting and let us all get to know you.
I have to get back to my daughter but just wanted to say Hello

Lila

[Thalyanna]

Well, thank you all for answering, but Miss Dolly Sunshine: please don't be so judgmental. First thing I did was download & read the book, & listen to the tapes & buy the packaged-vitamin supplements, & get on the Topamax and get a daily pill-box container. I'm not that all over the place but I didn't know one had to be totally articulate and present well-thought out ideas in this forum.

I just feel so alone. Thank you, Boss.man, and Sunbeam and Lila for your thoughts. Obviously not that many people are interested in helping me. I mean, THIS is a "thread", right? You've got to have some kind of draw, I guess, to get people's interest, just like anything else. The bells & whistles, the photos and smiley faces. It's just too much advertising for me...and too much like my work. I came here for help. And so then are you 4 in it for the long haul?

Anyway, I just wanted some help in getting past the starting gate. Please refer back to my initial posting. I mean, the whole book was a one-on-one buddy e-mailing thing... Am I so fucked up in thinking that might work for me too, instead of a whole bunch of strangers jumping on a "thread" and saying "hey, we're there for you" or "you sound all over the place"?

OK, maybe it's just the problem-solver in me, but when things don't work, I really want to make them work....And I really try to make them work. And I'm hardest on myself for not "doing" the MWO program perfectly, for not liking the guy's voice on the tapes (again, anyone...is this an issue? do I have to do the tapes?)....

What'd really be great is a few stories about what started your journey on day 1, or what took you from day 2 to day 5, or the sentence you kept repeating in your head, or your favorite way to remember taking those damn vitamins.

Or maybe I'm just a loser with no self-discipline, unable to succeed at anything. Yep, probably that's it.

[marbella]

Hi Thalyanna

I dont think Dolly was being judgamental, she just wondered if you had started the program or not.

We are all in different time zones here- hence you might not get loads of replies immediately.

I personally don't have the MWO hypnosis CDs- when I came here I already had others, but I have read the guy's voice annoys other people on this board. I am currently about to try something a little different which combines self-hypnosis with brainwave training- I will report here as soon as I can.

I also don't take the topamax due to bad side effects- I think most people here are following the program to a degree but many of us aren't following it completely for one reason or another.

I wish I had an answer for you (and the rest of us) but it seems to be a process, and what helps one person won't necessarily work for another.

Basically I think when we really, finally have had enough of letting the poison otherwise known as AL ruin our lives we will stop.

I believe at the age of 43 I am now there- it has ruined the first half of my life and I don't want it to ruin the second half.

I don't know if you are finding the supplements to be helpful- I did then stopped taking them because they seemed to 'stop working'- I have now upped my dosage and they are certainly helping with the cravings.

[Sunbeam]

Thylana,
I actually stopped drinking in January, 5 days before finding My Way Out. Didn't use the supplements, meds, tapes, didn't know about them. I bought some glutamine yesterday because sugar cravings have been an issue for me. I had hoped to lost weight, but haven't. Anyway, I got started by making a list of all the things I hate about drinking: how I feel physically, longer-term health, things I could accomplish without alcohol, memory etc etc. When I was feeling weak, I re-read the list. I hated all of that, much like you feel like a loser at the moment. That list really helped. The support here has enabled me to be in much better control. I have learned so much. Reading the MWO book gave me hope. I was pretty ignorant, thought AA was my only choice but I just would never consider going to a live meeting. I've never even been in the chat room here, though I post pretty often.

I was more of a binge drinker - didn't drink daily, and often would stop at a couple of glasses. But once a week I would find that I didn't stop. When that turned into twice in a week, I said, "I'm done!" Searched Amazon.com for books. I purchased MWO and Allen Carr's book, Easy Way to Quit Drinking. So I was already AF for 2 weeks before I received the book.

My mistake was thinking I could learn to drink moderately. That worked for 3 months, but then I could see myself increasing, drinking more quantities and more frequently than I had planned. So I am now quitting again, though last week was not a good week, I WILL be successful again. Life without alcohol is SO much better. That warm, relaxed feeling from alcohol simply isn't worth the struggle to me.

I am sorry you are feeling neglected here. There has been a lot of personal stuff going on here recently, which goes with the drinking turf, I guess. Many people often welcome newcomers, but too frequently the newcomers seem to disappear. Maybe you could post a "How to get started" thread, and you will get more suggestions for that question.

[SassyGirl]

Originally Posted by Thalyanna

What'd really be great is a few stories about what started your journey on day 1, or what took you from day 2 to day 5, or the sentence you kept repeating in your head, or your favorite way to remember taking those damn vitamins.

Or maybe I'm just a loser with no self-discipline, unable to succeed at anything. Yep, probably that's it.

Thal,
What started my journey on day 1 was a terrible hangover (of all things.) I got loaded (by myself) for no reason, and woke up so hungover I was useless all day. All I could do was lay on the couch and nap. I felt like such a waste of space, and all I could think was "This is a WEDNESDAY. Nothing special was going on last night. What possessed me to get so drunk?"

I couldn't come up with a single reason, other then I am developing a problem. So for the first time, I sought help and found MYO.

As for the vitamins, I found little tiny baggies at GNC and plan on putting all my doses together on Sunday nights for the week. There's space to write on the bag what day/time to take it. I think remembering to do it around mealtimes should work for me...but you are right, it's a lot! I don't even have all my supps yet or my topa, just found a few things at GNC and am plugging along on my own.

As for you being a "loser"...come on now. No need for self-pity here. You will get tons of support here, but I read somewhere that the weekends are a little slow. I think like any other board, the longer you're here and the more you post, the more friends you'll make.

I truly wish you well, Thal and looking forward to working hard together.

Sassy

[marbella]

LOL- I have just had to laugh at the 'loser' bit.

It is such bloody hard work being a drinker- getting it, hiding it, paying for it, acting sober while drunk, working through thumping hangovers, I honestly think those of us who drink successfully could do anything! We are just directing our serious talents at the wrong thing