Rough day

[HealerHealing]

Since I have cut down on my consumption I have been having terrible nightmares. I have even been waking myself talking, crying out, jumping. I don't know what it is about, maybe just stress. Today started out pretty stressful I had to take my 4 kids ages 5 and under to the dentist. We were stuck in this tiny room for over an hour. By the time we left my head was pounding and my teeth were clinched. My head is still hurting and I have a very busy day. I start massaging at 1:00 and will not be finished until 7:00 this evening with no break (they made a mistake with my schedule) I am still planning on going AF, I have placed my orders and waiting for my "tools" to arrive. I am certainly not making any judgements but it just amazes me that some folks on this site drink only a 1/2 bottle of wine a day and they are concerned about their consumption. It makes me feel like I must be worse off than I thought!!! Is there anyone else who drinks like I do? I do not drink during the day but in the evenings only. I consume a "handle" bottle (however much that is) of rum in four or five days. I didn't think that was so much until I read the posts of others. When I have wine I can drink 2 little bottles easy in one evening. Seriously I am wondering if I am the only person who consumes this much. I guess it really doesn't matter, but I guess I am looking for someone like me Last night I didn't have a drink until after 6:30 I was so happy with myself. This morning I was seriously considering pouring out the rest of the rum, but after my morning now I feel less inclined to do so. well, one day at a time I guess.

[universal]

Healer - there are a lot of people who are in the same boat as you. When I drink wine I can also consume 2 bottles in a night.

I have nightmares as well sometimes. Keep on trying - you'll be okay. And you will feel so much better.

Love and Hugs,
Uni

[LookingToGrow]

Hi Healer! I feel the pain of your struggle. I am new at this but before going AF recently I was at 1 to 1 1/2 litres of wine EVERY night for years. You can do this - ODAT. We're here for you every step of the way!

[A Work in Progress]

A lot of people drink as much as you do. It's not a good thing, of course! These "tools" you are waiting for... maybe you can get enough "tools" to get started, if you are truly sick of feeling this way??? I hope so. If so you will get a lot of support here... whenever you decide it's time, with whichever "tools" are available...

best wishes,

wip

[HealerHealing]

You know what...I just realized I am soooooo afraid of failing. I don't want to say on here that I am going AF and then slip up.

[Peanut]

Healer,
I know what you mean about the bad dreams!! When I first went AF a couple months ago, I had horrific, goary, yucky, scarey dreams for a couple days, but they did stop. Happened again a couple nights ago when I had my first day AF after 2 weeks of holiday and drinking everyday! It will pass. And no - you are not the only one who drinks that much. I was at a litre a day of wine, more on weekends, when I finally decided that maybe that was a bit excessive! (understatement of the year!!!!) I hope your supplies come soon - hopefully you will get some AF days under your belt and you will be then able to handle the stress of the 4 little kids better (I know what that's like!!).
Good luck and stay strong - we are all with you!
xoxo Peanut

[Nurseindistress]

Hi--
I can relate to the feeling of pressure and tightness in the head. No, you are not the only one. It is only good that you are realizing now how much you drink, because it only gets worse. I ordered the starter kit and am finding it to be very helpful at cutting down cravings. Last night I had a bad night and went to the liquor store, but I didn't feel like I "HAD" to as I have before, but I just did because that is how I am used to dealing with depression. Still a bad move, and one has to still use some self control, as the supps do not make it easy, but easier. Please take it from someone who is a lot older, you don't want this to continue. Having kids is stressful, but when they grow up and don't need you anymore, to me that is harder. So, get your life in order now. Sorry, I am into my own issues here. Good luck with this, and this site is very helpful--sometimes you can vent here when you have no where else to go. You can do it.

[DeeBee]

Healer,

Firstly... 4 kids under the age of 5!! Damn that would stress anyone!!

I used to drink a 5lt during the week and then sneak off to another bottle store for another 5lt for the weekend, so yip I had a problem!!

As far as putting it out there that you want to go AF, it's the best thing that I did because firstly it pushed my limits but you know that if you don't make it the support is still here... no one judges!!

[keeta]

Healer,

The great thing about this place, is we can always find some one who can relate in some way, and they can usualy offer support, advice, or atleast empathize (sp??)

When I drink, I rarely if ever do so at an acceptable level...beer is my "drug" of choice, and I can drink 12 no problem (HA...it is a huge problem, but you get the drift LOL)...will drink more if I have it...and drink and drink until I pass out. I have no "shut off valve" in my brain.

Keep moving forward, ODAT, and know you are never alone in your struggle to move forward without Al controlling you!

Best of luck,
K

[Bandit]

Hi HealerHealing,
I could easily drink two bottles of wine in an evening, sometimes more if it is there and especially at the weekend if I started in the afternoon (which I often did) and then kept on through dinner etc.. sometimes I steal my hubby's beer too - if AL is in the house I will generally drink it unless I fall alseep first, which is what normally happens so yes I think I have a problem! - I am trying to be AF again, this time it feels different but I am not going to count my chickens either.
Best Wishes,

Bandit