DTs??

[thirdsister]

Thank you LilBit. Coming here is such a comfort. Knowing we're not alone in this and that there is a community like this ready to lend an ear and a shoulder : )

[cacky]

Thirdsis; you are probably right about the hallucenations. can you talk to her about going into treatment?

[thirdsister]

I'm pretty sure she would go...it's just a matter of finding treatment that is affordable and available. Like I said before, my parents seem done with footing the bill when she hasn't shown much progress in the past and continues to lie and hide things from them. Does anyone know of treatment facilities for people without income or health insurance??

I've seriously considered writing in to a show like Intervention or even Dr Phil just on a hope and prayer that they may send her to treatment. However, I don't think Rach would want to go quite so public with her problems...and who can blame her? That's gotta be, aside from the addiction itself, one of the HARDEST and most ANNOYING parts of any addicition... the talking, the gossip.

That's actually one thing my family has become SOOO much better on. We used to be consumed with Rachael and her problems. It seemed like not a get together could go by where we didn't find the converstaion turning towards Rachael. And of course we always had the answers and solutions to the problems...if only she'd listen to us! (ha! I know better now) But not anymore. I think all of us have realized that does more harm than good, for all of us. It's not healthy for anyone to be so consumed. I suppose that's part of co-dependency, we become addicted to the addiction and to the afflicted person.

Anyway...absolutely I believe Rachael would go to rehab or whatever, we just need to find a place that would take her and that will treat people without insurance. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THESE PLACES EXIST!!

[cacky]

Thirdsis, im not sure but i think you can call hospitals; or a hotline somewhere to find out where there are treatment facilities for people with no insurance and no money. around here you get detoxed and there are some great Sober Living or Halfway houses. One of them is called the Limen house. I believe the folks there dont pay for their housing. They are held to strict rules and get tested alot to make sure they aren't using. There may be a good place like that around where your sis lives too. People that i know from there swear it saved their lives.

[thirdsister]

That would probably be the best option for Rach since she's not just facing detox and getting sober, but also needs a place to live. Unforunately her diseases/disorders came to a head right before one of the worst economic atmospheres. She has been unsuccessful finding employement and my parents just can't afford to keep paying for her. Especially since they just got through paying for our other sister's wedding. I will start looking into that.

Any advice on how to give her this information once I find it?

[brittzak]

Thirdsister,
I am gonna give you some advice some here may not agree with me and you may not like or want to hear. It is time Rachael finds her own help and helps her SELF! I remember Rachael very well and her story. I myself have been here a long time and suffer alcoholism. So, please know I KNOW her struggle first hand. YOU and your parents can keep finding her help, but until Rachael finds her own help and helps herself she will continue to relapse. She is not put out financially your parents are. You should feel absolutely NO guilt for taking medication to the wedding. Rachael has to learn to keep her hands to herself. Sometimes until we hit the bottom we don't truly see what it is going to take to get us back up. I can imagine seeing your sister suffer is very painful, but if you all continue to enable her, the suffering for you all will continue as well. She is a grown woman. YES, she has an addiction....so do I...but, only Rachael can make a difference in how she lives with her affliction. It will not be easy and you all can support her in her goal of sobriety, but she needs to seek the help. There is help, she has been to rehab a couple of times, so you finding her help...doesn't help her. She needs to help herself for it to work. Sobriety is a lot of HARD WORK for us. If she is not ready and does not seek this help herself......she is not going to be up for the fight it is gonna take for her to be a success. You may not understand what I am telling you, but from someone that is in Rachael's shoes...trust me...the best thing you can do for her is cut her loose. I have 2 children...I didn't even sober up for them. That should tell you the hold alcohol has on a person. You have to sober up for YOURSELF and you have to want it more than you want anything else in life. I am praying for you all!!!!

[cacky]

Thirdsis; the folks that live at this Limen house (halfway house) are pretty decent people. i go to AA meetings with them alot (its a long term program so they are there for i think a year). I think you just give her the information and let her make her own decisions but she may not be in the right frame of mind to do the research.

Also tell her that we are still here. I dont know her as i am fairly new to this site but it sounds like some other folks know and have some attachment to her. it might help if you can get her to log in and talk to us

[Cinders]

Rachelita,

I hope you read this thread and I pray you find your way out.

Thirdsister, you are in no way responsible for the things Rachel does.

However, I am a little concerned about you guys. Us addicts would LOVE to have all those drugs around us. Seriously. Consider getting off the pain killers and benzos.

Love,
Cindi

[cacky]

Thirdsis, i agree with Cinders. Those pills that you and your fiance have arent necessarily good for you. Just a thought

[thirdsister]

Britt - I think that's the best things I could have been told at this point. I KNOW we need to stop trying to take responsbility for her...it's just so damned hard to let go. Thank you THANK YOU for your post!! It is especially meaningful coming from you.

Cacky - I agree that a half way house or sober living program would be great to Rach. I think the best thing to do would be suggest it if/when she brings up the topic or asks for any advice on her impending homelessness.

Cindi - Thank you for reminding me (us non AL users are just as bull headed as the rest) that I'm not in control. Also, Mike and I both adamently agree that we made bone head decision by taking the pills. They are not our perscription...we found them at his sister's house and took a few of each. Pills are not something either of us seek out, but I agree that it raises concern that we took them with such a lax attitude. It would be easier to blow it off and say it was a one time thing...but I think that's just the beginning of a habit of dimissing and denial that will only lead us to destruction. I actually laid it all out for my parents, that we took them from his sister and then brought them into the house where they were available to Rachael. It wasn't easy for me to admit, because I've always been such a "good" girl in their eyes. I'm going to face this with brutal honesty...because if Mike and I aren't honest about what a terrible decision it is to take someone else's perscriptions...well, we're headed down a bad road ourselves.

Again, thank you everyone for your kind, and honest, words. This site is such a blessing.