one glass per month

[Prest4time]

Dowjbw,

After reading your last post, I think in the setting you are referring to which is having a glass of wine, from a special bottle, in the presence of others who will probably each have a glass leaving the option of another out of the equation, then I think that is different. I was picturing more of an environment where you go out with the intention of ordering one glass, (and that one glass feels like 2 or 3 after a period of abs) and you feel so good after one, you think, why not one more? Anyhoo... I could never do just one glass if at home with a whole bottle. But this sounds different, and your plan sounds good... I support you. Just see how you feel... if its really satisfying and you are content with that one glass, or if you feel anxiety because you cannot have another, etc.

Sounds like you have really though through this and have a good plan.

P4T

[Croft]

I think everyone is different. But I can imagine a scenario where I do not drink for a few weeks and then maybe go to dinner with friends and have a glass of wine.

I am attempting to moderate. I have only been at it for a little over a month, but I think I have made progress.

I have gone from drinking every day, all day long to being able to have only a couple and then stop. Even in Vegas in party central, I drank, got buzzed but because of hte Kudzu, Topo and the other parade of pills that now number 21 I was able to stop after I got buzzed and just go to water.

I wish you the best of luck for whatevever you decide to do.

[Ask For Help]

Juliana:
FIRST off: Great Job on 34 days AF: I also see that you're continuing AF. That is terrific.

I've been hoping some of the longer term modders would comment here, but it seems to be sort of a quiet time of the boards right now for modders. I read a lot on ODAT and long term ABS, for inspiration, but don't post much.

I'm fairly new to this, started in January. But from all I've read on these boards lots of people do successfully moderate and the amount of drinking you are proposing is very very limited compared to most moderators. If you even read some of the threads in this section by Preciouspinot or MKR you'll see that they have been successful thinking of themselves as "mostly ABS" with allowances for having drinks several times a week. I agree with the advice that you set your goals as long as you stick to them, try not to worry that you are on the road to decline ;-).

I try to mod by a) having no alcohol in the house and therefore only drinking in social situations (although I've also learned to be AF in social situations) b) try to accumulate as many AF days/week as possible but at least 4 c) limit myself to 7 drinks per week.
Mostly I just don't drink, or think about drinking, but when I think I'd LIKE a drink, I have one, and when I'm making my weekend plans, I kind of check in on where I am for the week and determine if I'm going out whether I think I'll have wine or go AF. It's pretty easy and NOT as one poster said so cleverly "like having a meeting of the Board of Nutters "should I drink, how much, how oftern etc etc. " like I used to have before this program!.

All a long winded way of saying, I think you're doing GREAT, and that mods is a really legitimate route and maybe we can spark up more conversation on Monthly Mods?
Fondly,
Ginny

[Sunbeam]

Hi all,
The initial responses to my post were interesting and thought provoking. The "don't do it" responses really surprised me coming from a group that drinks more than I was proposing but there were a lot of assumptions. The later responses seemed to understand better where I'm at. I continue to abstain, and continue to wonder if I want to moderate or just abstain. Beyond that one glass from that really fine bottle of wine, maybe I will abstain. Just to clarify, any future consumption would be with my husband, who continues to enjoy wine in moderation. We don't discuss this much, but he really doesn't understand why I just can't moderate. My past alcohol abuse was mostly alone (not with my husband). I have 3 friends with whom I have enjoyed too much wine at my house, but they all know my current non-drinking status. Probably I will read or start another post to learn more about various moderation schedules, or maybe I will try a post on with the abstention group (but I would expect most of them to say, "Don't do it".) My pledge is to never again drink alone.

[Waves 2]

Hi Juliana,

Can I point out that the earlier posts only had 3 sentences to base their posts on.

Having done more than 32 days I know how confident and assured I was that I would never fall back into my old pattern. The first glass of wine I had didn't even taste nice. I was even more reassured. But I slipped.

However, you are not me. From reading more - you seem to have a very good plan in mind. You have thought things through carefully. You have made important decisions. As I said before your plan works for MKR Mary so it may work for you.

Askforhelp has given very good advice above.

We are all different. We have to plan our own way out and stick with it.

Good luck with your plan.

[trixietrack]

hi sunbeam I think you have a good plan. If you know you are the type that will not go on some binge.

I personally feel that mods is possible if you have not had a serious problem with self control. If you are the type of person who is aware and can go into a social situation and look around and say this is not the right place or the right time to be drinking, you will succeed.

Your idea of not drinking alone is a good one. hiding or drinking alone or drinking because you had a bad day is the sign of a problem.

I had 2 glasses of wine last night with a friend at dinner. then I went home, there are 2 bottles of relly good white wine in my fridge, there is also a bottle of seltzer and some barley tea.

I felt really good and satisfied with my 2 glasses, so I grabbed the tea, fed the cat and read my book.

this is how you know you can mod.

Trix

[CaptJBean]

these are all really great post. Congrats on the days AF.