Moderation Tools - How Do You Do It?

[Margoms]

Hi Everyone. I've found this website Saturday morning while in a shamed and desperate hungover state and I'm so glad I found all of you. I've posted on the newbie site over the weekend, but since I'm hoping to moderate I want to find out how you do it. I had been to a party Friday night and really lost control, ending up sloppy and in a blackout for the last part of the evening. I literally didn't see it coming. I was okay and then suddenly the wine hit me like a mack truck! I don't have episodes this extreme all the time but the loss of control is becoming more frequent, I'm getting drunker than I'd like more often than I'd like and I'm scared (not to mention occasionally embarrassed.) Wine is my drink of choice and my husband and I drink wine most evenings starting and ending with dinner. We used to share 1 bottle a night, but we have been up to 1 1/2 or even two some nights. My main problem is the social setting. When I'm anxious or uncomfortable or just having fun I drink continuously throughout the evening, which can really add up. I guess my goal would be to keep the drinking at home to one shared bottle of wine most nights and come up with some kind of plan for social drinking as this is where I'm really losing it. How do you make it through a party? What is a drink counter? Would a plan to limit yourself to one drink per hour be realistic? Alternate water and wine? Limit to 2 - 3? I have several parties coming up and I need a plan! I have downloaded the book, the Kudzu is on it's way and I plan to order the c.d.'s this week. I have been AF the last two days out of contrition!. Thanks to all for being here. I look forward to hearing from you what tools get you through. I also posted this on the monthly moderation thread because I really could use some answers.

[boozehag]

hello and welcome
That's great that you have a plan in place and have got the tools on the way. Most people start out with 30 days AF and then decide whether they are going to go AF or moderate. When you get a chance you should read some of the older posts and you will find that most people start out thinking or hope they will be able to moderate at some point and a lot of us initially are scared about facing social life without AL. Two things seem to happen quite a lot. As people get AF days under their belt that initial fear of being without AL in social occasions fades and you realise that it was just AL's grip on the brain that is talking/panicking. You will probably laugh at that in a few weeks. I know I did. There is actually a whole world out there that doesnt involve drinking to excess we have just chosen to ignore it or deny it. The other thing is that most people who are problem drinkers find moderating is very difficult as if we could have drank in moderation surely we would have done that all along. Moderation seems to mean where drinking or not drinking is just nothing to you - just like will I have a cracker or will I not as roberta says in the book. I am getting there slowly but surely and so can you.
Good luck.
BH (no more)

[Sunbeam]

Someone here said, if you were drinking heavily most days, you will not be successful moderating. Most agree that moderating is harder than quitting, and i really agree with that. You need to do that 30 days AF to make this decision. That said, I am now drinking moderately, have not had more than two glasses of wine on any occasion, but I have had more to drink over the past week than I had planned. We were away on vacation. Welcome here, keep reading the posts and the experiences of others can help you make your own plan.

[vlad]

I've replied to this on your other thread under the same name.