Where do I go from here?

[Waves 2]

Hi,
Those who I sent PMs at 17 days, sorry to bore you and thanks for your replies. I have 26 nights AF under my belt now. But I keep counting down to 30 which I am sure isn't good. Or am I counting up for the achievement factor? Up until yesterday I kept counting up but now it is easier to count what is left. The urge at early evening is still strong but later on it goes, especially if hubby has drunk a bottle and I can smell the wine on him. It doesn't smell nice.

I've been thinking that I will buy the 250 ml bottles for nights when I would like a drink but if hubby is drinking there will be extra wine around...tempation after a glass or two.

Two people have said that this works for them

Make moderation work or never drink again.

YES.


Someone advised changing habits. That's where I am most worried. Hubby's drinking pattern confirms the old habits.

This is my proposed plan. Can you see where it may fall down?


Before: Drink till none left in the house/ oblivion.
After: Stop when my bottle is gone.

Before: Drink every night.
After: Have at least 3 AF nights per week.

Before: No rules.
After: RULES: At least 3 AF days per week.
No more than 3 drinks per drinking day.

AM I READY FOR THIS?

[Changeling]

26 nights - wow what a great acheivement . Well Done Waves.
I have tried moderation (many times)
it did not work for me and now I have had to accept that I must abstain.

Are you feeling good - healthy, alert, focused.
Stay with that feeling
Are you sure you want to go back to drinking, even in moderation
If you kept putting your hand in the fire and burning it would you decide
'OK i'll only do it 3 times a week'

Best of luck to you - whatever path you take
And once again congrats on 26 days....
best wishes
Changeling

[Paddy]

Congrats on well 29 or 30 day now? I have to agree with Changeling. I've been AF for 5 days and I'm slowling gaining back my self-esteem, my life, my productivity. I wouldn't give that up for anything. As much as I love wine, I also had to realize that moderate drinking does not work for me. It might work the first day, maybe second day, too. Then I start getting to sure of myself and relapse. I've been there a number of times, and this time round I told myself that this was going to be it. I have chromosome 15 in my system - due to my parents and grandparents' alcohol abuse. I'm just going to be another alcoholic in the line of alcoholics in the family. NO WAY.

Anyway, just my 2 cents.

[sobermom]

Hi Waves2-

You asked for experiences, I am finding that not keeping alcohol in the house does work for me. If I want a drink, or plan for a special day, I go to the liquor store and buy one of those "airplane size" bottles of wine, or two wine coolers. Putting a limit on the days/quantity has worked for me since Sept 05.
My husband always has beer in the house but I tell myself those are his beer and they are off limits. I also make him keep it downstairs in the other fridge (too handy is a bad thing).
There have been a few weekends when I got lazy and deviated from the plan and "bulk bought" with the plan to keep them for another day. That didn't work - I overdrank, not to the point of getting drunk but definitely over my intended limit.
Remember, its always going to be a work in progress and I personally can't just "let myself go". I think I will have to be on guard for the rest of my life. But it definitely is do-able.

You are doing great on your abstinence, keep up the good work !

[Waves 2]

Thanks for the replies. I must admit to being scared about whether I can drink only a little and stop. Those extra ideas sobermum will definitely help Thanks again.