Where are the moderators??

[embraceddarkside]

I'm in mods cuz I don't know where I really want to be. (Did I ever know where I wanted to be, other than in a mansion or in the Bahamas with some rich dude who doted on me?!) Yeah, right.
I can't do church or AA in my small town, esp since I'm in a respected profession and am considered an "authority." I count every small step I make. I admire the abstinence group especially, but am giving myself kudos for even the smallest of my victories. To get to 1 or 1-1/2 cocktails a day is a milestone for me. The supps, nutrition and these threads have gotten me there. I will sing when I get to my first AF day. I appreciate your threads. They help me celebrate every small victory.

[boohoo2]

i have been on the AA site for support but cant continue Im what this lady says is a functioning alcoholic ouch but i cant do the God thing or sit at those meetings listening to other peoples drinking problems Im not unsympathetic
but i beleive that my blow outs are due to my emotional distress and it becomes a vicious cycle
thank you for this site i am reading some great stuff and hope to be able to moderately drink
it looks like i need a book tho and to abstain for 30 days i did 7 and they were tough but i have a drink in hand cause i feel so very low and know if i have a wine il feel better ive been rejected by man he has been a lover for a year but not a friend and doesnt want to be good reason to have a drink i say

[livingfree]

Trixie - I wrote you this long post and LOST IT before I could hit submit!! UGGGGGGGGGGGGG

So I'll give you the short version ........ I really appreciate what you posted here. It really is a good reminder to me that this site is for both abstainers and moderators. I think as of late - there was an imbalance of those trying to moderate or quit drinking that were REALLY having a tough time. It must make the true moderators want to run away. Things seem to be balancing back out - so I close the short version of this post with a ....... Thank you - as I am going to be careful in the future - as I really felt your message and think you have some very valid points. I admit to feeling that there really were not true moderators on this site - but as I thought back to your posts in the past - and quite a few others that I really respect and I know that is untrue. There are a great deal of moderators who are very successful here.

I really respect you - and believe your posts to always be healthy and balanced. Thanks So for your insight.

Liv

[Saint Jude]

Livingfree, we're here... some of us have been for years,...
We just don't feel the need to "count the days" like other places.

Stick around, this is a wonderful place!

It is a bit different, but it does work, ...

[Ask For Help]

Trixie:
I want to thank you for this thread, as it's just lately I've been feeling more of a community around mods. I started in January, and felt a bit like a "woman without a country to post in." Mods thread was pretty quiet. I am responsible for not posting and asking for more help but asking for help is not my strong suit (hence my moniker) so I just traveled around the boards looking for tips where I could - mostly on monthly ABS, ODAT and chat. I really, really wished there was a New to Mods? thread like there are for Newbies that I could have jumped in on: I was too inexperienced to start one.

I didn't post much early on because I felt being a modder in an AF crowd is like eating a banana split at Weight Watcher's meeting.

In the past few months I've seen questions about moderating from people new to the boards, to which ABBERs respond in spades; at times I would respond and assure the questioner that people with more mods experience would come along soon, but I don't think the questioner knew who was who, so the main message received was "most people can't mods".

So all in all a great topic.
I hope no one takes anything I've said as criticism. I am thrilled with the recent energy on the mods threads and feel I've finally found my group, so have no desire or intention of alienating anyone, just wanting share the "early experience of a 3-monther" in hopes that we can get newbies and those coming off of AF to mods the support they need.

Tx

G

[trixietrack]

thanks a lot for all the insight. living free I think you did a better job at explaining what I wa trying to communicate regarding mods.

I just wanted to see or hear more about people who can moderate, and how they do it. this could be helpful not just to us who have been working on it, but also to those who come to MWO looking for different ways to deal.......

I like the fact that we are all so different and our needs are different too.

[Marv]

Hello all. New guy here. I joined yesterday with the goal of being a moderator for the rest of my life. I celebrated day one AF yesterday- made it through the whole day and night!
I do enjoy drinking and right now can't imagine abstaining my whole life- therefore the goal is moderation from here on out. I will however, take it ODAT. The last thing I want to do is set myself up for failure. I am looking forward to being a part of this comminty. Oh yeah, disclaimer now: forgive my spelling- it is usually pretty bad!

[LVT25]

Marv, looking forward to hearing more about you!

[Prest4time]

Hi Marve, and welcome to you!

Although I have not posted on this thread previously, I have been on MWO for two years as a moderator. I came here as a complete mess, and was so grateful for all of the tools available, and I used them all except the CD's, which I later incorporated.

My life changed drastically. My husband was amazed.... I went from blacking out almost every night to very controlled drinking. We talked about it, I told him about this website, I ordered all the supps, and he has been very supportive. Has it been easy? Yes and no. Yes, to find a road to moderation. At this point I feel I need to share that I was also not drinking to the point of having withdrawals. Only wrestling with sleep for a few nights, that is.

After two years, I realized that I have learned to moderate quite well, (with the exceptional overdoing it...), but I find myself dissatisfied. Like... something is still missing?

So I devoured every thread I could about those who went for 30 days but felt so good that they went for another 30 days, etc. I was like, Wow!

Then I went with my husband to a trade show in Las Vegas where I had the pleasure to meet three other fellow MWO' outters! Of the three MWO's I met from here; two were on Antabuse and the third was one's wife who was an awesome inspiration to me personally. I have always been terrified of Antabuse, but after being around them, I was sold.

So I am on it as of Sunday.... loving it and feeling scared too. You know what the BEST part is? Well first, there are no side effects like Topa and Campral... none of that crap! (I personally had some nausea issues, but I do with every new script. No one else here had that, so consider me that one in a million weirdos).

The best part is, it has taken away that "argument" that I have with myself every day. I hate it, and I always lost. Not anymore!
Going on day four, and I know I am just baby steps in, but I am feeling wonderful.

All the best~
P4T

[Marv]

Prest and LVT- thanks for the welcome and the replies. I think this plae is going to help a bunch! For years I moderated successfully- not drinking on the work nights and then imbibing on the weekends. Since last August though, it was an everynight affair. I have known for a while now it is getting outta hand. I have been wrestling with it for sometime now. This week I finally made the decision to get back on track and moderate. I am tired of feeling like crap every morning and thinking about getting a buzz all day long- just to go home from work and repeat the damn cycle.
Today is day 3 AF. And it feels great. I will allow myself the option of drinks on the weekend and committ to being AF during the work nights.
The drinking everyday had many negatives, other than feeling like crap every morning. I am into bodybuilding so my training has suffered greatly. No motivation to train and gaining a bunch of fat from the mpty calories. It also has impacted my family relations and work performance.
So, back on track from here on out. Thanks for the support and I am looking forward to participating here. Hopefully soon, I will get around to posting my full story. Everyone- hang in there and enjoy the journey!