100 days today

[rivergirl]

Changeling - congratulations on your 100 days. You sound so darn good! You are a joy and encouragement to us all.

I read your post and looked at the calendar - today is my 100 days. So what is wrong with me - I am so sad. The last 2 weeks have been harder than anytime in the beginning. I even didn't want to post regarding my 100 days because it would increase my shame if I drink. That is so awful. You know in the beginning I feltl as though the days just sailed by and I was feeling so good and celebrating each day. Filling in the drink tracker was a daily celebration.

Ever since I got back from Europe I have been in the dumps and tempted almost daily. I just want to scream out - HELP - what is my problem???? I am not drinking but I am a little afraid I will cave if I continue on this emotional course.
Rivergirl

[xtexan]

rivergirl:

First, good for you on 100 days! Feel good, and proud of yourself.

Second, HOLD ON!!! Deep breath, escape your own mind for a bit!!

Do whatever. Don't despair! Load up on some supplement that will calm you. Use valerian root, or load of GABA. Passion flower, or calms forte.

Run, or bike, or jump rope. Go to a gym, and punch the punching bag till your arms fall off (I finally got my own punching bag, as I would punch the craving into pieces.)

I know it too well. Just want to scream and scream, at the top of your lungs, because it hurts!

After wearing yourself out, then long hot bath with some salts. Then do a hypnotic CD, or meditation.

You have to gang up on those cravings, and wipe them out. You are strong to go 100 days, and this WILL PASS!!! I promise. Been there so many times.

At this point, the cravings are psychological, and not much physical. It is a wave that will pass, and when you get to the other side, you will be even stronger.

Just wanted to let you know, that I understand, and you can beat it down. Work your tools, whatever worked in the past for you, will work again.

Hang in there, and again, 100 days is good to go all the way. You will do this thing.

Neil

[SKendall]

Xtexan, how could I possibly follow your posts, but everything you have said is so true for all of us and rivergirl. River, nothing is wrong with you. After years of making our own jolly feelings, we now feel left out of something that others have. Don't worry this will pass. Take a look at the people in bars, etc. that seem to be so happy, it's only a temporary smile on their faces. Everything has to be faced in the morning. It's better when we can face it with integrity intact, etc.

You can do this.

[SKendall]

I forgot to mention your 100 days is magnificent. Be proud my girl.

[abby1]

Rivergirl....
Congrats on 100 days!!! You should be very proud of yourself indeed. Take a moment and read the post "what alcohol has taken from me". What a reflection that is......
I am following your footsteps by mere days and I know the struggle. But I keep thinking of how happy and strong I will be at day 200, day 300 day 600. Congrats on 100 AF days...
Abby

[rivergirl]

Xtexan, Thank you so much - I am truly honored by your thoughful and caring reply. I have often, as have so many others, read your posts for inspiration and hope, techniques and ideas. To hear you say that there have been tough times for you as well is so helpful, I look up to you so much. I did join a gym and am going every morning (because I paid - the camaraderie helps as much as the workout)

I will get the calms forte and valerian - I don't have any of those and I read in the posts that they help others.

SKendall - Thanks to you as well - just knowing you are there is uplifting.

Abby, Thank you for posting, I have felt a kinship with you along the way as I read your posts, knowing we were at about the same spot timewise in our journey. I really like what you wrote about looking forward to 200, 300, 400 days- Hey - you know what? I think I had the goal of 100 days and wasn't looking beyond that - Like at 100 days I would be "cured" or normal- Well that doesn't happen for diabetics - I need to come to grips with the idea of working this thing all my life. That's okay - My next goal is 200 days! Thanks!!

Rivergirl

[abby1]

Rivergirl,
I am glad you have your next goal to achieve. I am on day 95 and thought I make a big deal of making it to day 100. But reflecting on other posts I think I am going to make a big deal at 200 days. It makes the reward that much sweeter!!! My brother is 6 YEARS AF, now that is a goal......It is a struggle to deal with the notion that you are not going to have a drink at a party, or at a holiday celebration or when you are having a good/bad day.
But for me every day that I don't drink is like a little party in my head saying "Yea... you made it one more day".
We will keep on this journey together....
Abby

[Java]

hey congrats!!!!! And abby that is cool, almost there too, I will be joining you both at the 100 mark in 11 days as well. I didnt realize so many were around the same mark! Well done all!!!!!

Victoria

P.S. I pictured you having a little party in your head Abby.

[Changeling]

Hi rivergirl
Congrats on your 100 days - a great achievnment....
I understand what you are saying about just feeling sad, I have days when I feel like this too. I can't understand what triggers it sometimes somthing so stupid like I see someone in a movie whith a glass of white wine and I think - what am i doing? whats the point?

I am so inspired by the words of xtexan - puts things into proportion for me.

Unfortunately my husband is still drinking and this is hard for me.
Thanks heavens we both have this wonderful place to come - strength to you rivergirl
best wishes
Changeling 100 +

[rivergirl]

Victoria - thanks for the words of encouragement - Hey - how about we all have a party in our head and invite each other- Only if I invite other people into my head I had better get do a thorough head cleaning - maybe we could have the party in Abby's head - Abby is your head available to host a party?

Changeling - I admire you so much - staying AF when your husband is still drinking you truly have resolve and determination.

Gosh - Xtexan is such an inspiration, we are so fortunate to have him.