Hi from France!

[USAnne]

Hi everybody,
Just wanted to check in and see what's happening on the MWO website, and once again thank RJ and all the fabulous work she has done to get us together, get us informed, and get us out of the PITS of alcoholism...!

After following this program, trying to moderate my drinking and finally deciding to go without completely (with the help of Campril), I am proud to let y'all know that I STILL haven't had a drink, since I undertook this fascinating journey 2 1/2 years ago! My life has changed in so many ways, you wouldn't believe it. I am living breathing proof that it CAN be done (I was an alcoholic for 30 years).

I'm a real cheerleader for this program. It's absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

Anne from France

[Palatia]

Awesome Ann!

nice to hear from 'graduates' so to speak...

Congrats and tell us more!!

[Bandit]

Hi Anne,
It is great to hear that you have done so well and stayed off the AL
I only joined about a month ago and my long term goal would be to moderate rather than abstain completely. I have managed 6 days AF in a row recently which may not sound like much but for me is the best achievement in about 15 years. However, I have had two very bad days within the last week or so.
Today, I am setting some new drinking rules to help me moderate. I feel more confident that I can stick to them because the two days I gave in I gave in due to the same triggers and I feel so awful about it that I feel even more determined than before. However, the doubts are always there.
Can I ask what made you finally decide to give up trying to moderate and decide that it had to be AF?
Best wishes,
Bandit

[USAnne]

Hi again and thanks for the replies!

First off, let me tell everyone that, like the saying goes - and I DON'T quote - "the journey begins with the first step." So already, the fact that you are here, means that you are meant to be here, you haven't found this website by accident, and even one day of controlling your drinking is fabulous! That's how it works, you go one day, then you say to yourself "Wow! I did it!" and you go the next day. And then you realize how good you feel about yourself, and how you don't have that pounding headache, and that feeling like you're going to be sick, and you're just damned PROUD! So you do it the next day... the third night, you had a hard day at work, you want to just have that ONE little drink that will take the edge off, but because of the what you've already accomplished, and because of that voice that comes from within that says "hey, you've come this far... try it just one more night..", you decide to take a bath instead, or take a walk, or come on this board and talk to someone. So you've made it FOUR days now.

Feeling good and proud of yourself, you start feeling hopeful, and (at least it was with me), better than you've felt in a long, long time. You start thinking, maybe I could go back to the gym class I was taking, or the jogging I was doing, or the ice skating, or any hobby or sport that you used to enjoy doing, before the booze got in and accompanied your every move in the evenings. So you look into it, find a class or a gym, and call them. Decide to go back the next day and check it out. And you find that you've got the stamina, and the desire, to go back and get involved in things that you had forgotten about.

All of this is the beginning of a great new life adventure, believe me! That's the way I started, and I had a couple of rough evenings when I wanted to break down and have just that one drink that would help me to chill out. But I was feeling SO GOOD, and the hypno tapes helped me out enormously, so I would put on a cd and my headphones, and just GO DEEPER (by the way, I have used the same person who did those tapes to help me also to stop smoking and to become more successful... and it works!)

Now, to answer your question, why did I decide to be abstinate instead of moderate my drinking? Well, the first reason was that the Topamax made me feel really strange, sweat profusely, and I felt pressure behind my eyes. I felt weird. I had already gone about a week or two without drinking, and felt so good and so proud, that I decided to ask my doctor to prescribe Campral. (He had been supportive of me taking the Topomax, although I think he was a bit hesitant). After several weeks of Campral, I knew that I didn't need it anymore.

Also, I know myself. I think that one of the biggest fears we face when we stop drinking, is to say, I'll NEVER drink again. Who wants that? Nobody! We all (I think) would love to be able to moderate, have two drinks and stop... but I just can't do it. Once I get the booze in my system, I want to go on and on and on. I realized that once I was sober, and I will always know that. I CANNOT moderate, because that's not my personality... and it's the same in almost every area of my life. When I smoked, I smoked TOO MUCH. When I was younger, I flirted with drugs, and took MANY MANY risks. When I would fall in love, it would be INTENSE. That's why I know that it's black or white with alcohol, and I have to stay away.

By putting one step in front of the other, day by day, I have made it from end of August 2006 (or maybe beginning September, I had one slip), until today, with no more cravings!

There is another "method" that helped me in alot of areas, and that is E.F.T. Do you know what that is? If not, I urge you to check out two websites : EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else and Attracting Abundance with Carol Look, EFT Master. E.F.T. is like acupuncture without the needles, and you tap on yourself in strategic points of your body while repeating certain phrases, which you can learn from these two sites (or I'd be happy to let you know about it, just ask). One thing I learned from E.F.T. is that we always have, deep down, a reason for wanting to hold onto our friend, booze. Ask yourself this : what would be the DOWN SIDE of stopping drinking? Answers such as, "I wouldn't know what to do in the evenings". "I would have to give up seeing certain friends who are drinking buddies", "I wouldn't know who I am without alcohol" are just some types of answers that you can think about. I know that I definitely had a problem because alcohol had become an evening friend, someone who made me feel comfortable, and I had a neighbor who also had a drinking problem and I knew that I couldn't even walk into her house without taking a drink... and that scared me. Nobody wants to give up friends or a lifestyle in order to quit drinking, nobody! But sometimes that's what it takes, and if you start getting sober, and staying sober several days in a row, you will have some A-ha moments, and will start to understand yourself better, and know what is good for you, and what is not.

Please write back if I can help anyone in any way. I can go on and on about my thrill of finding this website and the success I found. I know that we are not all the same, and even if you "fall off the wagon", one of the great things about being here is that no one will condemn you, EVERYONE (and I mean EVERYONE) knows what you're talking about here. That's what's so wonderful. If you feel like you're going to break down, come on this site and talk, get encouragement, get ideas to change YOUR thoughts.

It's all about reprogramming your brain, changing your habits, and learning that being sober is fun. And it is, it really is. I promise that you can discover who you really are, can enjoy life so much more than you are enjoying it now! It's a blast, a high that you haven't felt in a long, long time and you'll love it...

Sorry to be so long. I told you I was a cheerleader!!

Anne

[Gathings]

Anne, for sharing all your thoughts! I really helps me, having begun my first true AF journey in my life. I'm on day 7 today, and reading posts such as yours gives me so much more hope and greater perspective on the "big picture."

So, do you live in France now? That is where my love affair with wine all began (I studied in France for several years and majored in French lit.). How hard is it when there's wine all around you, everywhere you go? How have you fought off the cravings?
I look forward to hearing from you!

[USAnne]

Gathings, Hi!
Please be SO PROUD of yourself for being on Day 7. I know sometimes it's tough (one night I had to sit in the bathtub and SCRUB myself until I was practically raw, I was so keyed up) but you will make it, one day at a time.

I too loved wine, and it was my drink of choice over here. The supply and the choices are endless! And champagne, oh, I love champagne. But God, when you can drink almost 3 bottles in one evening, and you're a relatively small female, believe me, it leaves its marks!

I haven't had a hard time with cravings, after taking the Campral. If you're looking to go to abstinence, I would recommend it if you're doctor will prescribe it. And please do everything that RJ says to do on this site (some things are more appealing than others, and some supplements work better than others for each individual). I, for one, couldn't take L-glutamate, it made me have heart palpitations, don't know why! But the rest, the kudzu, the milk thistle etc etc... and especially the hypno tapes, worked miracles for me.

After about two months of abstinence, the cravings just disappeared, and have yet to return. I'm not saying that I don't remain vigilent, cause alcohol is treacherous and can sneak back up on you from behind, after years and years (so can cigarettes... I can vouch for that!). But now, I'm proud of not drinking, and tell people, "I'm sorry, but no... I don't drink." I've had some people try to press it on me, "c'mon, just one! One drink won't hurt you!" but I tell them that I have been a problem drinker in the past and don't want to risk it. Period.

Something else that helped me alot was finding a "buddy" on the MWO forums. We would e-mail each other every day, talking about our successes, or our failures, or our cravings. We became good friends during that period, and although we no longer keep in close touch, I know that having her there to talk to sure was a God-send.

I live in the Pas de Calais, where the alcoholism rate (except for Brittany I think) is the highest in the country. I have often wanted to start a "My Way Out" over here, but it would take enormous doing, and French people are, in general, much less open to self-help kind of stuff.

Where did you study in France?

And KEEP GOING... you will discover a whole new you (or maybe the real you!) that you will love. It's such a trip to feel good (and better, and better!)

Anne

[Gathings]

France is one of my true loves! I studied in Angers and lived in Paris (Bastille dsctrict).. and have a French family that adopted me as their own, who live on a dairy farm in Picardie. J'aimerais bien y retourner bientot! I haven't been back since 2001.
Your journey is amazing to me! I do agree with you as far as doing the whole program - I have the books and CD's now, and have been taking the supplements (just started the kudzu, since it came with the book package). I know that I need something a bit stronger to help me with my cravings, and was attracted to the topomax, because of that extra side effect of weightloss (I had gained close to 40 lbs this last year, mostly because of my drinking). I am a bit concerned about the negative side effects topomax, though, and have not ruled out other possibilities. How does the campral work, and are there side effects with that?
Aussi, tu habites en France depuis quand? Do you plan on staying there? I'm so curious, because I miss that place so much!!
Thank you for sharing, Anne! It means a lot to me!

[USAnne]

France is one of my true loves as well, and always has been. Where is your French family in Picardie? I live close by and one of my good friends works at Airbus in Albert. I live in Bethune, do you know where that is? I have lived here since 1984 (I'll be 50 next week, and I've lived in France since I was 26,so in a couple of years, I'll have lived here as long as I lived in the U.S.!) and have two sons that have dual nationality.

The Topamax could work for you I'm sure if you tolerate it well. You can always give it a go and see how it works... so many people have been helped by it! As far as the campral goes, I had absolutely zero side effects. You have to be sober (drink free) for a week, I think, before starting, and it takes about a week to kick in, but afterwards, it's really incredible how the cravings go away. And for me, after several weeks of taking it, I would find that I would forget to take it, but the cravings NEVER came back. I haven't ever craved alcohol again after following the MWO program together with the campral.
Sometimes, I must admit, I rarely miss the TASTE of a good white wine or red wine, with some cheese or something, but the craving for what alcohol did to me, and the effects it had on me (which to me, were the most important) is gone. I used to drink until I would pass out, in the meantime making stupid phone calls to everyone, sending e-mails that I regretted the next day... boy, the shame of it all! I would drink my wine and think about how tomorrow would be different, and all the great things I was going to do... but unfortunately, my tomorrows were filled with headaches, stomach churns, and just trying to make it through my day without anybody realizing that I had been drinking! I knew I was sunk when one day, I was eating lunch with my colleagues, and I couldn't get my hands to stop shaking!

I am planning on staying in France, probably the rest of my life. Although I must admit that my favorite passion in life is travel. I worked for a solar panel manufacturer for almost 20 years and travelled to alot of neat places in Africa, Asia and Scandinavia, and my favorite place (next to France) is Morocco.

Quand est-ce que tu reviendras voir la France?

Anne

[Gathings]

J'espere tres bientot aller en France. Peut-etre dans un an... je verrai. Ca depend de l'argent. Aussi, j'ai un petit gamin a l'age de 3 ans qui s'appelle Max, et nous habitons aven mon mari tout pres de Washington D.C. My french family lives in a little village called Premont, which is in northern Picardie. I'd say it's about equal distance between St. Quentin and Cambrai.
Wow! I feel so honored to have not only found this forum, but to have discovered a fellow with whom I share so much in common - especially France and French life. Elle me manque trop souvent! Anne, I hope that we can keep in touch through this website, if anything! On Monday, I will make the doctor's appt. and will let you know how it goes.
It's already past midnight your time now, so bonne reves! J'espere te parler bientot! Ciao!

[memarcie]

Anne, it's great to hear from you. I remember you from way back. You sound fantastic!!