How Things Change

[Beck]

Mags,

Congrats on 3 years.

Thanks for the post - very timely for me. I've been sober almost 80 days and just yesterday it occurred to me that now I have to deal with the "why" of my drinking. I had thought it really didn't matter and wouldn't resurface. It has. Damn. Now I get to deal rather than avoid. I'm afraid that getting sober was the easy part...staying sober is going to be much tougher than I thought.

Beck

[Mags]

Beck

Congrats so much on 80 days. That is a huge accomplishment.
Yes, I know what you mean about the now asking WHY. Many old demons come back to haunt when we are sober that didn't we were drinking. All I can say is be strong. Not very original, I know. Sometimes they used to buzz around my bedroom at night like phantoms. I know it sounds crazy, but they did. And I was sober. But those first few months of sobriety make you see all those old monsters sometimes. I really saw them. I was psychotic. But it does go away with time.

You'll be fine. You have lots of time under your belt, so you are prepared for whatever happens next. It is different for everyone.

God bless you for your sobriety for this long time. AF is the only way for me. I thank all my fellow travelers who make this so much easier.

[KateH1]

Mags, it will be four months tomorrow since we had dinner with WW in NYC.......So that means that tomorrow, I will be four months sober! I understand what you are saying about all the changes. But, I can tell you this, I am learning to live a normal life, a life with anxiety, discomfort, sadness etc, but even more, I am feeling freedom, joy, peace etc !! Yep.....I am beginning to truly feel my life and I am greatful for all of it!

Mags, you are an inspiration, three years is amazing! I am so happy for you........I wish we were having dinner again right now!!

Much Love,
XXX Kate

[bootcampbarbie]

mags 3 years is something very proud to be. and beck so is 80 days.kate kate i knew you were right there with me with 4 months. yes it is good to feel all those feelings. i'm having feelings. i'm also not this person that is reactivated or escalates problems or creates them. no drama zone. and i'm loving that sane thinking. i do sleep alot and chocolate for now only has become one of my closest friends. well temporary but that's okay. love you all madly

[retteacher]

Mags: I haven't been sober very long (single digit days) though I've had a few fairly long AF stints. During those stints, I got a glimmer of what sober living could be. Ups (very nice sober ones) & downs (confusing because I didn't know how to deal). I think that I, as an alcoholic, must face the fact that life isn't always going to move along the path I want it to. I must deal w/everything that I avoided all those years I drank. I know I have non-alcoholic resources at my disposal. I have to do the daily work of NOT DRINKING & start living a normal life. Thank you so much. Mary

[Mags]

I just read this post again for the first time in a long time. I think of Bear. I sound so clumsy. He would have said what I tried to say in a much shorter and sweeter way. God, how I miss him. I think of him so often.

[tea]

Mags, thank you for that inspiration. We CAN do it eh..... Know what you mean about the phantoms buzzing around you head at night, I have been thinking of things that I haven't thought about in a long long time, things I haven't dealt with obviously but buried in the voddy bottle. I know this will get better only if I remain sober, nothing goes away with the bottle, only stalls until we face it.

Thank you.

Lx

[Cinders]

Mags,

Three years sober. Wow.

I remember so many things you have told me in the past as you tried to help me with my sobriety.

"Some days it is all you can do to just put one foot in front of the other." I remember that when I am really down and just mutter to myself, "One foot in front of the other, girl."

"It gets better and better." Thank God!!

"You are my evil twin." Why do I have to be the evil one????

Your story and your fight out of your hell are an inspiration to me and lets me know I can fight my way out, too.

Thank you and know your evil twin sits here and is grateful she has had the chance to know you.

Love,
Cindi

[caysea]

Mags way to go!!
It is more helpful than you can imagine to hear from someone that has been able to turn their back on al .Right now not drinking is not the problem, but the dealing with life at times feels like an exposed nerve.It hurts .

[CS04]

I'm on day 9, and not drinking is quite difficult, and the exposed nerve of life hurts too.