How to Shower.....

[one2many]

How To Shower Like a Woman**


Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

if you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Dry off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



**How To Shower Like a Man*


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of
bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!*

[bald headed old guy]

Damn! now I have to go find the hidden camera in my house!
BHOG

[one2many]

LMAO BHOG...you've been caught!

[DeeBee]

LOL I have been known to give the walls a "little" scrub whilst showering!

[Wally22]

Loved it!! I am definitely going to pass it on. Thanks

[hippie37]

It doesn't mention in there anything about woman using the shower head for 'other' things which I know most of you do!! And I'm not being rude as many of you have mentioned it in a thread many moons ago when I first joined here!!!lol

But yeah I'll hold my hand and armpits up to not showering regularly!! Usually once a week WAS suffice until someone started pulling me up over it!! Although it's a totally different ball game if your 'active'!!! Oh and changing the bedsheets is another one!! I would leave that wet towel on me bed after showering, go out and still come back and sleep in the damp bed!! Mind you it's rather easy to avoid the damp patch if your sleeping in a double bed alone!!!lol I guess I better take my leave and go and get in the damn shower!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[startingover]

Blimey Hipps, thought it was only me