Glad To Be A Woman

[tlrgs]

Glad To Be A Woman



I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam



I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions



I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
And I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!



I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut



And I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch
Or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch



I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!



I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting



It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack



And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome



Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side
I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!



And I honestly think its a privilege for me
To have these two boobs and squat when I pee



I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal



I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
Stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band



Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
Then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!



Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see
You can forget all about that old penis envy



I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick



I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!

please dont get offended in anyway
and hey happy friday

[hart]

[i][That was very clever!/I] What I think is even funnier, hair transplants are what's advertised above this thread!!

[Seacailin]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Just two things: I was a beer swiller, but not God-awful Budweiser. My poison was Beck's, and I have no prob. pinching a guys butt.lol.

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Hilarious!!! Cheers,tlrgs.

Gawd!!........I`m such a female chauvinist sow and.........proud of it!!! LMAO

Darling x