For anyone with children with disabilities ...

[betty boop]

Hi all, I remember several weeks ago a member here had just had their child diagnosed with Autism ..........

A few years ago my friend sent me a poem, I've been looking for it for ages and eventually found it, but I'm really sorry that I can't remember who it was for ......

Anyway, enjoy every body .........

PS i've been in Holland 11 years now, and it is a truly beautiful special place ..........


WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.




c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved



I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......



When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.



After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."



"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."



But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.



The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.



So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.



It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.



But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."



And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.


But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland...

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[ready2quit]

Thanks Betty, I have a daughter with Autism...that was a really great poem to help lift the spirits.

[betty boop]

Thanks ready2quit, My daughter has quite bad epilepsy and I was really low for a while till a friend sent me that, it somehow puts things into perspective ......

[southernbelle47]

Oh BB.......we never know where our kids will take us....but we do know that we love them and in the "big picture" ...that is the most important thing.
Much love to all mom's of children everywhere.
This is God's best job in the universe..
Nancy

[Beaches]

I have a son who has Autism and I never mourn not getting to Italy. I enjoy every day I have with him because he teaches me so much.

[southernbelle47]

I once thought that I wanted to "go to Italy"....in not having anymore kids after the first two......
BUT GOD.......said here is just one more. Some people said..."just abort IT".

Couldn't even go there....

He doesn't have a "disability" as you say yours have.
He just got back fron his second tour in Iraq and is back in grad school this fall.
What a blessing I would have missed...I know you all understand.
Thank God He knows what I need and what is best for me.
I admire and love you all.
Nancy

[greeneyes]

I do not have kids of my own. I have a background in special ed though. My first job out of college was with autistic kids. No one in my class could speak. I cherish that space in time.